The Painful Prolonged Distraction

What I should be screaming here is DISASTER, CRISIS, PROBLEMS, PALAVA! But I chose to call this a painful and prolonged distraction. May be I am viewing this occurence as such considering the fact that my crisis managment "skill' was put to test. On my way back to Mali, I met two Nigeria men that were left by their bus to Mali at the same hurt locker Porga border that I blogged about a while ago. These two young men were trying to negotiate their ways out of the exhorbitant charges by the immigration officers when their bus driver zoomed off! They were to travel for 3 days to get to Mali and the wicked driver left them behind on day one while taking their luggage with him!

I was touched by this story, we journeyed together to Mali in another vehicle from Burkina and we were able to cope with the vehicle incessant break down. Thank God the journey was over. We all sighed and parted in Bamako. I had to brace myself for the days ahead with the research work I am planning to do. I promised to devote my time to the research and another essay that needs editing. That was my plan. I could only accommodate a little distraction of watching TV, Movies or playing music ocassionally. That again was my plan...


I remember how Murphy's law was put in a clearer perpspective in one WAEC text of English years ago. The passage read 'when problems come, they come not in singles but battalions'. I was fascinated by this and thought deeply on the possibilities of things going extremely wrong. And yes, over the years, I have seen things going extremely wrong. Some I worried sick or depressed over them. My crisis managment instinct was never a skill then. So, as I was saying, all I bargained for was to plung myself into work after resting the night away. Friday came and I was working out my plan gradually then I realised I needed to get some money, pay my rent, buy grocery, buy phone cards etc. That should not be a problem, I mused. Afterall, I was armed with my HSBC visa card and GTB Master card. All I needed to do was go get the money!



That was when everything started going wrong. My nephew sent me a text that he was sick and dying- I had to think of how to get a doctor to treat him back in Nigeria. I hit the city to get money but all the ATM machines I tried rejected my two cards. I was stuck. I then placed a call to GTB that very night and they told me after being on hold for a long time that the problem was not from their end. I called HSBC London, the following day and this time I was put on hold for longer, money wasted and no solution found. What happened? HSBC has blocked my card because I reported a transaction I did not carry out on my account and they are investigating! Who did they tell before blocking my card? I was not happy with this. What next, I thought to myself as I have CHOSEN not to let this situation ruin my mood. I used mastercard again on Saturday using different ATM machines to no avail. I eventually got a bank that worked on Saturdays having being told by GTB when I called again that they seemed not to know what the problem was. The bank visited in Mali told me, master card services had been stopped for the past 6 Months in Mali!


There we go, two debit cards and I could not get any money. I have no cash on me and found it difficult to get a loan at that short period with the few people I know in Mali. Yet, I paused to think, I read a book or continue reading one. A thought came to me to find an account to transfer my money to in Mali. I could not find one willing to do this immediately. I then called hubby in Nigeria to help me send money through Western Union or Money Gram. I had to wait till Monday (today) to have a feedback on that. Hubby got back to me with yet a sad news ' Money Gram and Western Union don't send out money from Nigeria'! Since when? Bloody hell! Did I mention how constantly my phone was going off by itself or refuse to call or text? This is the price I have to pay for buying a bloody (excuse my French) touched screen LG phone! In fact, the battery went flat when it was needed the most.


Still thinking ahead, I got in touch with a co- peace and security fellow and a friend in London, to let me please transfer my money into her account and she can withdraw and send via Western Union. She agreed. I will lose money through this process but I will be saved from hunger and disgrace and of course the PAINFUL AND PROLONGED DISTRACTION. I have since suspended my research concept paper! While this was going on, I mentioned to my supervisor when I resumed in the office today all that I have being going through and vuala he loaned me some money! I never expected him to do so as we have this understandable acrimony between us ( or so I thought).


I was distracted big time but I have learnt a lot through these four days of thinking, analysing, thinking, rethinking and wondering where else within my brain to tap into for a solution. This has taught me that no matter how tall the mountain to climb is, you have got to have some climbing faith, and you have got to have confidence and perseverance... I thought I would be a wreck by now but I never stopped thinking and looking at all worst scenerios and all best strategies. I want this lesson to stay with me in my affairs and dealings from now on. And yes, that you may never know who is trully an enemy or a friend until they are put to test...

JUST IN ONE WORD

Why do I allow the mistakes of the past to hunt me?

Those mistakes made in good faith

The ones made while trusting so blindly

The one yet made for the love of adventure

The mistakes that came to be because of error in judgement

Did I really make those mistakes?

It must be the other part of me that is long gone

It can’t be me sitting here

It couldn’t have been this reasonable, articulate, objective, charismatic me

But it could have been me

Had those errors, mistakes not being part of your integrity building?

Have they not been able to help you be better in life?

Have they not being a blessing in disguise come to think of it?

Just in one word,

You are wasting time brooding about non-issue

You are focusing on the past that cannot be changed

You are succumbing to the past that you ought to control

You are making another big mistake!!!

I now I trust but with sense

Now I make friends but with caution

Now I speak without fear or favour

Now I know keeping silent has it’s blessing

Now I know that there will always be adventure

There will always be new things to explore

Now I know that I need to move on error or no error

Blunder or blunder, mistake or no mistake

Now I know that no one is in infallible

But, I keep this in mind in all I do:

Is it the truth?

Is it fair to all concern?

Will God approve?

Is your conscience in line with your act?

Yes, I think before I act!!!

A GUY FROM THE PAST

This was one experience that made me stronger after I got over the shock of what I got myself into. I think I would have put the story completely behind me until one day when I was having a discussion with my boss, she mentioned his name, and impulsively I said I know the guy that we used to date.

I later question if we really dated, if this wasn’t a question of been taking advantage of. I blamed myself for my part in allowing someone that I could read like a book take advantage of me. Despite the fact that I was barely 20, I had seen all there was to see in male gender deceiving the other sex, lying sweetly, singing praises of the ladies in their presence while condemning them as soon as they were out of sight! No thanks to my notorious cousins, nephews (older), brother and their friends that would talk excitedly without caution in front of me, thinking I don’t have a clue about men/women affairs. They would even send me to the ladies. There was a time I had to warn one of the ladies, I had taken to her and I didn’t like the fact that she was being cheated on after she gave all to that relationship.

Trust me, I was extremely careful of falling prey to men but I still keep a lot of male friends. Well, after I left secondary school, I came to stay with a cousin of mine in Lagos. You could see the village beauty written all over me, I was inquisitive, curious, friendly, loud, stubborn, and observant. In the rented house of my cousin, there lived a guy in the boys’ quarters, a journalist (I even thought he was still in school when I met him).

I would greet him with respect and all as we do in Yoruba land especially to someone that is 8 years older than you are. That did not stop him from making advances at me. He would call me to an abandoned part of the house forcing himself on me and all that. I was able to put off his advances but I didn’t hate him.

I later met with a cousin of his Tunde who seemed much matured and responsible. We kicked it. He was much more interested in my school, he would discuss his project with me, he would invite me to the other guy’s room so we could just gist. Well, the cruel hand of death snatched him shortly after I entered the university. (May his soul rest in peace). But before he died, he told me that he had a bet with his cousin that I would one day be his. I laughed it off.

What now happened, the guy (It’s even unpleasant to mention his name so I will just keep calling him the guy), was still persistent and the naive me that thought knew all the tricks men played back then (cos I do now trust me) chose to be down with him. I was like for him to be this persistent, must be serious and I actually liked him a lot but I was being careful cos he looked and acted like a player and I was right!!! Tunde knew a lot about me cos he cared but the guy knew nothing all he wanted was… fill in the gap. I once left school and came to Lagos to see my folks and he asked me to check him up in his new place. Well one thing led to the other and the deed was done. End of story I was discarded like a well used rag.

I know a lot about him contrary to him knowing next to nothing about me cos we stayed among his family members back then. Well, years had passed, and I saw him one day last year, gave him my complimentary card and left. End of contact again until my boss mentioned his name. To cut a long story short, I met him recently at an event and he was at the centre of attention cos it was partly the event of his company. My boss and the guy had never met face to face but through some online project they partook in together. After the event we met up to greet him. I greeted the guy by calling his first name and guess what; he said hello ma or ma’am. I kept my cool cos I could not imagine he would pretend not to know me. 

Anyways. I found him on facebook and his facebook message to me was even neutral like he never saw me a day before. And he went like “hello mrs… you are pretty much in shape after all these years (referring to my face book picture) and bla bla blah. In my reply to him, I asked why he pretended not to know me. I got know answer till now. Methinks, this hit and run guy feels since he has built a reputation for himself, he would rather pretend his past does not exist at all, perfect. People like me don’t bother either whether the past exists or not since the lessons learnt had made me stronger and better than the predator in my life affairs. I am not the one trying to live up to an image cos I have my image built while going through faces of life. I am smarter and will continue to laugh at evil that men like the guy do… and would like to undo ah aha ahaha ahahahahahahahah.

Are you bored already reading this gist? Okay. I am ending it; I am no prolific writer (lol)