On Christmas eve, I was visiting someone that brought a message from London for me, despite not liking visiting the Island especially on Christmas eve. Well, The Activist had to do what she had to do. I mad my trip, I was running late so I had to take a commercial motorcycle popularly called Okada in the Western part of Nigeria. We proceeded on our journey. I noticed the rider was trying to tell me something but if I tried to inquire, he would just look on. He, at a point shifted into my laps and I had to move back while wondering if he didn't have enough space to sit to begin with. Before I got to my stop, he looked back and asked me if I was crazy! What? I was still trying to digest that unbelievable utterance when he dropped another one. He said " I want to kiss you"!
Now imagine if I had not known what to do or how to handle a maniac like the rider, things could have got worse. He might be a rapist. The stereotype would let us believe that women are emotional meaning that in that situation, I should just give into crying and get confused. No, handled it right. I asked him to halt infront of a police officer and the rest was history...
Another incident that I would like to share happened in December 2007, a year before this rider's incident (not on Christmas eve though). I was on my way to see a doctor because I had taken ill. I had to get off at a busy place called Oshodi in Lagos to take another bus to my destination. As I was making my way through the crowd, a guy just grabbed my butt! Well, when I turned back with reflex action, I had given him 3 dirty slaps before I calmed down. I didn't bother waiting to see who would sympathise with me since my voice was too weak to alert the nearby police officers. If I didn't leave the scene on time, the Oshodi boys, would give justice to the " butt grabist" and embarrass me. I know how they operate so, I didn't wait but I defended my self before leaving the scene
The Oshodi incident happens to a lot of ladies in our big markets in Lagos. There are all sort of harrassment from the male marketers. They pull you and rough handle you while pretending they are marketing their goods and all. So many other incidents that I can't begin to name have being endured by women and girls. Rape cases that can be avoided, violence against our bodies by those we trust with no one to help. So, since we have got ourselves, what do we do?
This brings me to what I believe is a must for every woman and girls to learn Self defense skills.
"...If you see or sense problems on your way,
just change your route and - prepare to run or
defend yourself..." — Caroline Young
What does self defense mean to us as women? In my organisation, we had a summer camp in Technology for female secondary students last year. One of the acitivities at the camp was to bring expert in martial arts to teach the girls little but effective self defense they can use to get themselves out of any danger. Did they love it? Did we feel happy to have initiated this? Oh yes!
“Self-defence is what we do to make our lives safer
on a daily basis. ” It’s about taking control of
situations in which you’re to be made a victim -
this ranges from comments to physical attack.
It’s realising that if someone does not respect your
boundaries, you should stop them. There are
many different strategies for this - saying something,
yelling, leaving, fighting - the important thing is you
By learning some basic principles of self- defense, as a woman, you are already in control. There are articles you can read up if you click on the links I provided or better still look for a self-defense or martial art expert to put you through. Not only you but your daughters, your female friends, your sister, our mothers and your female colleagues
In this 2009, I will be happier to see a violence free year. I know this is possible. Let's us all make it difficult for hoodlums, assailants or whatever logo or names they bear to get to us. It's our responsiblities to be safe. Let's self-defense skills be one of our safety cateria for 2009.
