Saturday, May 31, 2008


I found this on The Best Article Every Day and Thought I should share it.
Written by Anthony Balderrama
When you’re job hunting, you can go mad if you think about the amount of factors beyond your control that affect your chances of getting hired.
The economy, your location, industry trends — even the hiring manager’s mood — can influence whether or not you get a job.
Still, as nice as it would be to blame your lack of offers on external factors, you can’t forget that common denominator in your job hunt — from the résumé to the interview — is you.
Here are 25 ways you might be unknowingly sabotaging your own job search:

The first steps
1. Not keeping track of your accomplishments
When you’re happy with your job, it’s easy to forget about possible future job hunts. You never know when you’ll end up looking for new work, and if you don’t keep a running list of awards, promotions and accomplishments, you might not remember them when it’s time to update your résumé.
2. Leaving on a bad note
As much fun as it is to fantasize about telling off a bad boss, don’t actually do it. Leaving a trail of angry bosses or co-workers will come back to haunt you when you need references.
3. Not networking
If you’re silent about your job search, your friends, family and colleagues won’t think of you when they hear about job opportunities.
4. Only using the Internet
Online job boards are fantastic resources, but you need to do some footwork if you want to increase your chances of finding a job. Contact companies whom you’d like to work for, even if there are no job listings. Not all companies advertise openings online.
5. Only searching for the perfect job
Yes, your job search should be focused. After all, applying to every job posting that comes your way is a good way to waste time but not an effective way to find a job you want. However, if you approach your job hunt unwilling to accept anything less than the precise job title, pay, vacation time and hours you want, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
The résumé and cover letter
6. Writing a generic cover letter
If your cover letter looks like it could have come from a word processor template, right down to the “To Whom It May Concern,” don’t bother sending it. Hiring managers look for a candidate who wants that specific position, not someone who sends out applications en masse. Write a new cover letter for each job application and include details specific to that company.
7. Typos
Sending a cover letter or résumé filled with grammatical mistakes and typographical errors shows hiring managers you don’t care about the quality of your work and probably not about the job, either.
8. Including your current work info as the best place to contact you
Making sure employers can get in touch with you is important, but they shouldn’t be contacting you at work. “Potential employers are going to question if these people will search for a new job on their time,” says Kathy Sweeney, résumé writer for the Write Résumé.
9. Focusing on yourself and not on the company in the cover letter
“When ‘I’ is the predominant subject — and there are times when it is the only subject of all the sentences in the cover letter — it indicates to me that they don’t understand my organization and its needs, and, in fact, says they don’t care to know,” says Dion McInnis, associate vice president for university advancement at University of Houston-Clear Lake. “And therefore, I don’t care to know them.”
10. Not targeting your résumé to the position
Just like the cover letter, your résumé should build a case for you to be hired for a specific position. If you’re applying for a financial analyst position, don’t waste space including your teenage stint as a lifeguard.......

Thursday, May 29, 2008


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm I have been asking mi-self time and time again if there is anything to celebrate on this Democracy Day. For me it is another time to reflect.

Yar’adua our promising leader, took over the mantle of power a year ago and he promised to be a servant leader. I quite like his philosophy. Amidst his tasking roles of leading this country is taking care of his health. I do hope is health is in good shape for the tasking tasks ahead.

One year gone, and I am still yet to see improvement in a lot of areas. Am I hearing wait, the work is going on? Or am I hearing well, things will never change we have being promised several times before?

I am throwing this open to you all, if you have noticed improvement in the following areas of concerns will you share with me?
  1. Electricity, Light, NEPA, PHCN, Light, Light!!!
  2. Inflation
  3. Security
  4. Food scarcity and high prices
  5. Dilapidated educational system
  6. Corruption
  7. Bad roads
  8. Maternal mortality
  9. Affirmative action
  10. Pls add to the list if there is any area of concern you need to add
Where the heaven are we in this country?Visit NIGERIA CURIOSITY for more

Monday, May 26, 2008

A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner

I got this through yahoo Personals and I thought it would be great if I share it

The Signs Are All Around You
B Updated: May 20, 2008
Here are the dozen indicators:
In my line of work -- family law -- I often hear the same old refrain when my client explains to me why they split from their significant other. It goes like this, "I guess I didn't really know my partner after all." You might ask, "How could that be?" How could you have an intimate relationship with someone only to wake up one day to find out that the person you fell in love with is not the person they turned out to be?
I believe there are at least a dozen ways to know who someone really is -- indicators -- and if we do an inventory early on, we might stand a better chance of getting to know the real person before we fully commit. The following "observance" suggestions are important ones to make in the early stages of any relationship because each offers insight into habits, patterns, and behaviors. As you ponder these observations, know that there is no right or wrong; it's a matter of acceptance. Sometimes we have to accept quirks and differences as part of the give-and-take process. As you do your assessment, however, the goal is to decide whether or not you can live with or without your real partner.
1. Protocol: First or Second? Whether it's walking through a door, ordering dinner, or taking a bite out of the freshly baked cookies you have made together, if your partner always have to go first this could indicate self- centeredness. Are you willing to always be the giver?
2. Politics: Liberal or Conservative? How your partner views what is right or wrong in a political sense tells you a lot about his deep inner beliefs about society, and ultimately, the way he will approach your relationship issues. Will his views cause a rift in your relationship?
3. Television: Sitcoms or News? If his tendency is to watch "escape" TV programs versus "newsy/event" oriented ones, you can learn a lot about one's intellect. Do you want a mate who can keep up with your every day interest in what is going on in the world or a person you can run away with to avoid the world we live in?
4. Money: Flash or Stash? If your partner throws money around while dating, he might well be reckless with your joint finances when you move in together. Do you want to hook up with a tightwad or splurger?
5. Stress: Freak or Peak? Under Pressure, does he go to pieces or rise to the top of his game? If the answer is the former, every minor incident in your relationship might become a crisis. Do you like a lot of drama?
6. Conversation: About You or Him? As you first get to know each other does he always talk about himself first or you? If he is usually the topic priority do not expect that to change. Can you subordinate yourself to the world revolving around him?
7. Pets: Warm or Aloof? Believe it or not, the way in which he treats animals will not be dissimilar to how he treats your children. How do you want him to treat your loved ones?
8. Communication: Listens or Ignores? If you have something you want to talk about and he tunes you out as a general rule, can you cope?
9. Strangers: Kind or Rude? How he treats those they do not know (waiters, grocery clerks) often reflects on how he will treat people in general, including you, shortly after the glow wears off.
10. Priorities: Family or Work? You can tell almost immediately where a person's preferences lie in terms of what comes first (a family member's illness or a business trip) by the choices he makes when faced with an "either/or" situation. Do you care if he leaves on the next plane to present the such-and-such report if you or the kids have pneumonia?
11. Appearance: Fat or Fit? How he regards his appearance screams loudly about his sense of self-esteem. Those who eat sensibly, workout reasonably, and who take pride in their appearance are the ones who have a great sense of self. Does he really have self-confidence or might it be a front?
12. Faith: Strong or Weak? If you want a peak at his soul, learn more about his spirituality, or lack of it. What a person believes deep down is often what shapes the way in which they conduct their day-to-day affairs. What is your mate's "words to live by?"

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I Love This Song!!!


Guess it is time to do 6 quirk things about me since I have been so tagged by Oluwadee and Ajike.
1. I am always thinking; It does not matter what the subject on my mind is, though it is everything. I will think in my sleep over things I could change or things that should have been etc, I would still wake up thinking. I think , I wonder, I wander and I take in scenes all over my head and around me.
2. I always replay incidents in my head and it gets worse if am the one that made the mistake or did something too right like given out a necessary outburst, I will keep replaying everything in my head. Sei this head of mine.

3. I am an incurable gender activist and feministmy head snaps, my antenna receives danger signals anytime I hear any negative, derogatory comments about women. No, I must address this. I do, I do. Getting into argument all the time. I even analyze adverts like dettol “if I don’t take care of them/him who so, who takes care of her?
4. I can’t seem to wake up early, cos of that have to fast forward my phone alarm since I don’t have a wrist watch, (what is the point anyway since my 2 phones always tell the time) 30mins in advance so I can wake up to make it out of the house on time.

5. I fix peoples faces with whatever it is they resemble from bird to goat to rat, to ram, to lizard to cat to dog i.e snopp and of course to other human beings they look like on TV, on the road, name it. Well, I usually share this with hubby and a few friends. Not all before they will think I have fixed their faces too. I felt our former vice president resembles a bull while Obasanjo resembles a chimpanzee. Yes only God will forgive me, what do I resemble? Of course I am a pretty looking hippo (do you believe that for a minute?)

6. Can’t keep things I am no longer using e.g old clothes, shoes, etc I always look for people to give. First, to help the world, second cos I consider keeping stuff am not using junks. And I know things I no longer need due to growing tired of it or they don’t fit like I think they would are always useful to someone else.
P:S: do you know I had a crush on Michael Scofield of Prison Break? My Hubby left me to bask in the euphoria of my dream until I got over it and named my male cat after him (lol).
Peace out. Tagging: Ore, blazingdaola, Don, Abbie, Pyoowata and Vera
The rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours – six, not more.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Opportunity for girls
The Women's Technology Empowerment Centre is now accepting nominations from parents and guardians for its forthcoming Summer Camp for girls focusing on empowering secondary schools female students throught Information and communication technologies. Visit to submit your nominations online.

got a better one? Share it.

Some of mi-personal sayings:
  1. Time heals only treated wounds.
  2. Does your life depend on how you want to live it or how you are told to live it?  
  3. Does your life depend on what people say about you?
  4. The mystery between life and death is that we once lived.
  5. Accept what you can’t change after countless, ceaseless and endless efforts trying to change it.

Monday, May 19, 2008


I didn't write this, I am just sharing it.
Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened.

It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he put his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk.

The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!"

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."
May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good

Remember.....Just going to temple, musjid or church doesn't make you a good human beings.

Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can Keep the faith.

God, The Supreme power, I request You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power.

I request You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace.
Where there is need, I request you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings.

Saturday, May 17, 2008


This was one experience that made me stronger after I got over the shock of what I got myself into. I think I would have put the story completely behind me until one day when I was having a discussion with my boss, she mentioned his name, and impulsively I said I know the guy that we used to date.

I later question if we really dated, if this wasn’t a question of been taking advantage of. I blamed myself for my part in allowing someone that I could read like a book take advantage of me. Despite the fact that I was barely 20, I had seen all there was to see in male gender deceiving the other sex, lying sweetly, singing praises of the ladies in their presence while condemning them as soon as they were out of sight! No thanks to my notorious cousins, nephews (older), brother and their friends that would talk excitedly without caution in front of me, thinking I don’t have a clue about men/women affairs. They would even send me to the ladies. There was a time I had to warn one of the ladies, I had taken to her and I didn’t like the fact that she was being cheated on after she gave all to that relationship.

Trust me, I was extremely careful of falling prey to men but I still keep a lot of male friends. Well, after I left secondary school, I came to stay with a cousin of mine in
Lagos. You could see the village beauty written all over me, I was inquisitive, curious, friendly, loud, stubborn, and observant. In the rented house of my cousin, there lived a guy in the boys’ quarters, a journalist (I even thought he was still in school when I met him).

I would greet him with respect and all as we do in Yoruba land especially to someone that is 8 years older than you are. That did not stop him from making advances at me. He would call me to an abandoned part of the house forcing himself on me and all that. I was able to put off his advances but I didn’t hate him.

I later met with a cousin of his Tunde who seemed much matured and responsible. We kicked it. He was much more interested in my school, he would discuss his project with me, he would invite me to the other guy’s room so we could just gist. Well, the cruel hand of death snatched him shortly after I entered the university. (May his soul rest in peace). But before he died, he told me that he had a bet with his cousin that I would one day be his. I laughed it off.

What now happened, the guy (It’s even unpleasant to mention his name so I will just keep calling him the guy), was still persistent and the naive me that thought knew all the tricks men played back then (cos I do now trust me) chose to be down with him. I was like for him to be this persistent, must be serious and I actually liked him a lot but I was being careful cos he looked and acted like a player and I was right!!! Tunde knew a lot about me cos he cared but the guy knew nothing all he wanted was… fill in the gap. I once left school and came to
Lagos to see my folks and he asked me to check him up in his new place. Well one thing led to the other and the deed was done. End of story I was discarded like a well used rag.

I know a lot about him contrary to him knowing next to nothing about me cos we stayed among his family members back then. Well, years had passed, and I saw him one day last year, gave him my complimentary card and left. End of contact again until my boss mentioned his name. To cut a long story short, I met him recently at an event and he was at the centre of attention cos it was partly the event of his company. My boss and the guy had never met face to face but through some online project they partook in together. After the event we met up to greet him. I greeted the guy by calling his first name and guess what; he said hello ma or ma’am. I kept my cool cos I could not imagine he would pretend not to know me. 

Anyways. I found him on facebook and his facebook message to me was even neutral like he never saw me a day before. And he went like “hello mrs… you are pretty much in shape after all these years (referring to my face book picture) and bla bla blah. In my reply to him, I asked why he pretended not to know me. I got know answer till now. Methinks, this hit and run guy feels since he has built a reputation for himself, he would rather pretend his past does not exist at all, perfect. People like me don’t bother either whether the past exists or not since the lessons learnt had made me stronger and better than the predator in my life affairs. I am not the one trying to live up to an image cos I have my image built while going through faces of life. I am smarter and will continue to laugh at evil that men like the guy do… and would like to undo ah aha ahaha ahahahahahahahah.

Are you bored already reading this gist? Okay. I am ending it; I am no prolific writer (lol)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Poems for Thought

The best poems ever written by non-poetic me. I wonder how I managed.
My life is taking a turn,
a turn yet unknown,

It had better be good
for I can't stomach 

anymore disappointments.

Written by standtall in 2002. Can’t remember what inspired this poem but I had a lot of issues ranging from family to relationship, etc to deal with then.

That's my heart
I am bestowed with a killing gift
That's my heart
So encased in a deep daze
That's my heart
It is yet so soft,

 so beautiful but often stupid
That's my heart

My unstable passion

Written by standtall in 2002. I am sanguine. Yes, you just got it!!!

It hangs on my shoulders
like it always does
the container of my mortal documents and vanity
the container of my past and my present
my inseparable companion
what can I do without you?

Written by Standtall in 2001. For a friend that was in the University with me who was always carrying a computer bag with all his software, laptop, etc. I never saw Iddy without his bag hence the inspiration. He wanted to kill me when I gave him this poem.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Imagine if ....

Hello my Pipu, I have being MIA se? Na work o. I miss you too oooooooooo. Thank you, thank you. Just a brief “imagine if…” to make your weekend. Flow with me.
Imagine if these happen to you:
1. You sprayed insecticide on your clothes while ironing instead of spray starch
2. You sprayed “spray starch” on your self instead of your perfume while hurrying to get somewhere
3. You put hot iron on your ear/cheek instead of your phone in an attempt to answer a VIP call
4. You threw N1,000 inside a waste basket instead of the envelop containing the money
5. You left home with your bathroom slippers instead of your fancy working shoe
6. You poured kerosene inside your carburettor instead of water
7. “Hey Jane, Jeff is a jerk and I won’t mind killing the asshole right now”. You then sent this text to Jeff instead of Jane. (lmao)
8. You…
Someone please fill in the gap…

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Wordz Of Mine: Men Are Like Cars

Standtall says: This is something to read. All my life, I have heard people comparing women to cars but now Verastic Vera thinks differently. Enjoy

Thursday, May 1, 2008

23 Random stuff about moi and my tagged friends

When I visited Abbie’s blog and I saw the "random things about me" she put on her blog. I was like why haven’t I. Then, Lighty made it more interesting at about the time that I am putting together some stuff about me.
Have fun and while you are at it, take Lighty’s advice that am borrowing from. Let’s see your weird/dangerous/funny or whathaveyou side and tag at least 10 bloggers (I have increased the number) by living a “you have being tagged on… (leave you URL) blog” in their comment box. Thank you, thank you but I ain’t no teacher.
Well, let’s get to the point.

1. have always asked questions since I was a kid. And since no one would answer me correctly, I resolved to providing the answers myself. All the questions are always on why am I discriminated against as a girl? Why is woman bearing all the burden of the society? Why the violence against women? Why am I also told it’s our culture and tradition?
2. My father had me when he was already past hundred… I am a centurion’s daughter and the last in the family
3. My mother was the 10th wife of my dad and she was about the age mate of his 5th son
4. I called my brothers and sisters daddy and mummy cos almost all their children are far older than me. (Do I want polygamy setting? No way!!! Hell No)
5. My dad ended up not making up to 20 children with all his wives and concubines. (He claimed he lost a lot of his kids to agent of death)
6. My first nephew is about 6o something while am just almost 30! And am a great aunt to his kids ah ah ah ah ah ah….
7. I have a half brother that is 12 yrs older than me and the one I follow is 8 yrs older. And some times we are close (or assume we are), sometimes not.
8. Am an orphan. Dad died at (135- so they said) in 1995. Mum passed away in 2003 at 65 or something (no, record of birth anywhere to be seen). God I miss them!!!
9. I have only a mother-born brother and he is 18 yrs older than me. The Secret: we no longer get along. Don’t ask me why. But I am closer to his son my Nephew how will be 21 this Sept
10. My mama told me she was desperate for another child for long before I was born
11. I did not get along with my mom for a long time cos she was too much of a disciplinarian
12. I have always being so close to my friends than my siblings. What is the reason to be close anyway in a polygamous setting full of suspicions? But the truth must be told, I missed not having a close relationship with any of my siblings. I practically grew up alone not with siblings but with friends.
13. Enough about my family, but I must mention this, I refuse to fall into the “older person should be respected when they do not deserve it” stereotype. So, I am the black sheep of the family and am proud to be one. I have got a good reason if you ask me.
14. I used to love all the extended families I have both paternal and maternal but it so happened that they proved otherwise, so now I cut the ties
15. I am a very independent lady
16. I am a Falcon's fan!
17. I write with my left and right hands… though better with my right.
18. I lost interest in sex… I pity my husband who has being enduring this for a while now. Any help will do from you ladies.
19. Activism is in my blood, we are one and only
20. I am a cat lover and nothing can change that. (Do you want any gist about me-cats? I have got 3)
21. I love black, white and brown colours but all my shoes are black, black, black and black
22. I have got 23 names cos of my birth history all this cos my mama waited 18rs before I came. So taste some of the names. Tanwa (What we are looking for), Bibitayo, Abolore (was born after momma came back from Mecca), Oluwatoyin, Khadijat,Kubura Kikelomo, Kosemoni(Must have), Arike, Bolawa, Titilayo, Olaitan, Shade,Ireigbe (goodness never goes unrewarded), Omotoyosi, Ayobami, Omowunmi, Akinrinade…(I gave 18 out of 23, I never try? Haba)
23. I don’t bother to know cars make except the one I may one day buy e’g RAV4, KIA (which other one sef?)
N:B. I ain’t a saint. I will be back with 10 not-so-perfect sides of moi
My Passion, my focus, the change that I want to see in the world - is my propellent factor.

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AWID Forum 2008 (1) My first post from London (1) My health (1) NDQ Interview (1) Naija Blogger Awards 2009 (1) Natural Hair (1) Negative quotation on women (1) Newspaper review (1) Nigeria Media (1) Nigerian Sporting Activities (1) Nigerians and Abacha’s death (1) No light (1) No to FGM (1) Obama Prank (1) Outsanding Ore (1) PHCN and Nigeria Government (1) Passing though Ghana (1) Passing through Burkina Security and Development (1) Pastor Kehinde Ajiboye (1) Peace and Secuirty issues in the Horn (1) Police Force (1) Polygamist (1) Pregnancy and child bearing in marriage (1) Punishment of an elderly woman in Saudi (1) Rape Victim (1) Road and Bus Evangelism (1) Road trip to Mali (1) SOLIDARITY WTH WOMEN WHO SPEAK OUT (1) Self Defence for Women (1) Senseless killing by armed robbers (1) Serious Issues (1) Standtall Adevnture (1) Suicide bombing (1) Summit (1) Tactical Tech (1) Take Back the Tech (1) Tell Magazine (1) Terrorist Attack (1) The Uncoventional Clergy woman (1) The Bauchi Killings (1) The EU Summit Report (1) The Eritrea history (1) The July 10 Martyr (1) The Liberian Women peace building effort (1) The O.A.U 5 (1) The PM Tabloid (1) The danger of a single story (1) The late social Crusader (1) The meeting with London Bloggers (1) The rescued kitten (1) This Violence must stop (1) Tips to having a Happy Relationship (1) Traditional Role (1) Transforming Nigeria (1) Travelling through Africa by Road (1) Tribute to Chief Gani Fawehinmi (1) Tyranny (1) Umar Mutallab (1) Understanding Security (1) Uzoma's Justice (1) Verastically Vera (1) WORLD AIDS DAY (1) We need peace in our land (1) Women E-Campaigners` Training (1) Women In Technology. ICT4D (1) Wrong Culture and Belief (1) Yar'adua (1) Youth as agents of Change (1) meeting US bloggers (1) my love (1)