Sunday, June 1, 2008

Which Grammatical blunder is this?

Anyway, just for a funny Sunday. Some of us, depending on where we grew up in Naija or which tribe we belong will always have accent when we speak English. A proper (by “proper” I mean the ones that grew up in their home towns and attended public schools, correct me if am wrong) omo Ibo will let you know she/he is one when she/he speaks, same goes for omo Yoruba and Hausa. By their accent you shall know them.

Like me gan-gan wey dey talk na one ‘lil town I grew up and we have issues with pronouncing “h” in front of words that has “h” in it. Like I would say Enry instead of Henry, Ow is for How, Enshaw instead of Henshaw. Love comes out as luf, very as fery. Worst still our “sh” and “ch” don’t come out right!!! I try to be more careful since I am conscious of this deficiency.

If you happen to go to a public school where they speak your dialect all the time to teach you, you might end up not knowing much on how to use the right vocabulary or apply past sentence when you start speaking or working!!! I am always guilty of this and I would go “how is work today” instead of “how was work today”. Then I would go "I mean…"(Fill in the gap). It’s really annoying having to correct myself all the time.

As imperfect as I am, I am even an authority in some way. Take for instance, what do you say when someone or a friend asks you “can we take a stroke”? Or tells you “I crack my brain all the time trying to figure out your name”, or says “why do you frank, any trouble?

And in your mind you were like the right words were stroll, rack and frown, but you still hear it all the time. One day in a bus, a guy that looks well educated asked an apple seller to bring him one and he goes “give me one anpple madam”. And in my head I was like where did that “n” come from. Well, guess I am in no place to always make mental notes of all these grammatical blunders after all, I make mine. I can assure you though that I am improving before they will ask me “which univesity did you go to?” and I will go disgrace my great great Ife!!!
Let me leave you with this: 

  1. I didn’t did it
  2. He maded soup
  3. Get losing (instead of “get lost”)
P.S: I was stopped by some police officers on my way to see the vet with my male cat Scofield, one of the officers asked for the receipt of my pet!!! Since when do we start showing a receipt for owing a pet? 


Jaja said...

You need to hear me when I put up my Okrika +Ikwerre accent, tainted with fake cockney.I always feel like strangling myself each time i hear myself. but what can i do? its me bestest accent. Me bestest.

When bobos try to dis me and beef me I tell them that its just sheer jealousness kiilling them. sheer Jealousness.

Kemmie said...

Yipppppppppee! First, first....(happy)

This is hilarious, doll! You reminded me of Heba instead of Eba that I used to hear all the time at secondary school.....LOL

I's funny the way Hs appear in odd places and then disappear from their place (e.g. Enry (Henry)! LOL

Thanks for stopping....1st! 1-all.

diary of a G said...

grammatical blunders are everywhere in and on my blog lol

sometimes I publish posts only to return 2 days later to see all the mistakes I made...oops

Thanks for the heads up on advocate
that was a blunder

cops are evil

Standtall said...

@Jaja, lmao, you are tooooooooooo funny.

@ Kemmie, funny Heba too has an "h" (lol). Sorry Jaja is first. Try harder next time

@Diary of a g, I can assure you I edit my posting so many a time. Cos I always open it to find a new mistake. What can we do. We will get better

OluwaDee said...

wonders shall never end (totly wrong), notn wey this police pple no go ask 4.

We are all guilty of those blunders, I find myself saying, "she u r coming 2moro?"

Speaking english rightly is not easy @ all.

Beyond said...

pretty much everyone is guilty of this offence. am not an exclusion....I have a brova who take note of ppls mistakes, yet acknowledges he has some too.

Can't stop laughing about the "anpple", that just sound so unforgiveable.

Have a great weekend

Sugabelly said...

Oh my, I almost peed myself laughing over this one. So trueeeeeeee

bumight said...

funny enough, i was working on a post similar to this. grammatical blunders and typos are different from this "h" thing. hanyway, to heach is hown!

webround said...

"he's at the extreme right end" instead of "he's at the extreme right"...extreme already means "the furthest"

receipt for cat? pls, tell me you're kidding

ejura said...

LOL @ "give me one anpple madam”.
Some people say "Yex" or "yerls" instead of "yes".

Once in church i heard this:

"Thix waix pleax all firx timex"!
I really can't even spell the way it sounded.

Interesting post.
When last did i visit your blog? Why, just a sec ago!

Takia babes!

Buttercup said...

happy new month to u too! lollll this was a funny post! askin for the receipt of a cat??? gosh, naija just gets ridiculous by the day!

AlooFar said...

LMAO :)) :)) :))

LG said...

buhahahahaha@........I didn’t did it
(i ve not heard dat b4, its truly impossicant, lol!!)

happy new month to u too,but na wa 4 dat policeman o, abi him think say steal d cat, lol!!!)

LG said...

buhahahahaha@........I didn’t did it
(i ve not heard dat b4, its truly impossicant, lol!!)

happy new month to u too,but na wa 4 dat policeman o, abi him think say steal d cat, lol!!!)

Jarrai said... funny, laughed throuout the whole post

I used to say soldier for shoulder all the time....Lol!!!

Receipt for a lol.

wellsbaba said...

word! by there accent you shall knw is strong with you sef?

Sting said...

LOL!!! I just burst laughing at the end. Anpple?!

Abbie said...

lol, if that incident didn't happen in Naija it won't be this hilarious. As it turns out, you do need a pet license here in the US. Don't know how many people actually do. (I do for all three of mine, just in case)

NaijaBabe said...

aba (thats haba by the way)
(h)it cant be dat bad ke?

Lol...get losing, now thats funny

Ms.cocoa brown said...


P.S: u r indeed a admit ur gramatical blunders....educate others...and seek to improve..I SALUTE YOU!!!! MWAH!!!!!!!!

Standtall said...

@Oluwadee: abi o.

@ Beyond: I am like your brova, come and see me correcting grammar and wait till i make mi-own mistake (lol)

@Sugarbelly: you comment is making me to laugh mi-self (lmao)

@Bunmight:I can't wait to see you put up your post on this grammatical blunder of a case (lol). Must read your angle to it.

@Webround: yes I am serious, receipt for cat. And the extreme end mistake is very very common

@ Ejura: dat grammar from ur church can really break jaw joo

@ Buttercup: na so o. May be he meant vaccination licence but he must be well educated to know abt stuff like that. Our police wont kill me with their countless mistakes

@ Aloofar: yes lmao, lmaooooooo

@ LG: mi-lady, it's not impossicant o. Trust me. Dont mind the police officer jare. Everything wey no get receipt must attracts settlement. E wan make I settle am for carrying mi-cat (lol)

@Jarrai: you r mi-twin sister. I say soldier for shoulder too and watch for wash (lol)

Wellsbaba: na grammar dey wrong with me o. (lmao)

@Sting: Yes anpple as in anpple. I even heard a woman teaching her child how to read ABC and she went A for anpple!!! The poor child might grow up thinking mama's right

@Abbie: dearie, yes I expected him to ask for LINCENCE and not receipt even though Nigeria has not got to the stage of asking for pet's licence (lol)

Naijab(h)abe: Ye(h)s, (h)it's dat b(h)ad o. (lmao)

rethots said...

A beautiful month to you, ma'am.

Anonymous said...

what about these classica, HO HEIGHT HO for 080 and HEM T HEN for MTN.

princesa said...

Pet receipt again?? naija police never ceases to amaze me.
Nice blog.

Sherri said...

my personal favorites be:

my tummy is paining me o
please don't rubish me o

nice blog!
i dey go come back....

shalewa said...

anple? chei grammartical errors.Does anybody want a hegg?lol

Utugwang girl said...

As English no be our original language, it is acceptable if we murder it small! After all when a French man mixes up his tenses and pronounces English words in his heavy French accent, we think it is cute. Worse still, we consider foreigners who speak our languages with the English infliction as having tried, so, let's enjoy our "Nigerianised" English without apologies!!!

Standtall said...

@Rethots: wishing you a beautiful Month too

@Sprezatura: Kai, I am still laughing o Ho Hieght Ho (lmao)

@Princesa: Na wetin I hear from the police be dat o. Thanks for the compliment

@Sherri: thanks for stopping by. I usually put "o" at the back of my words too.

@Shalewa: Yes, I want a Hegg (lmao)

Utuwang Gril: hmmmmmmmmmm good insight, Nigerialising our English without apologies. I hear you (lmao)

Tolantino said...

Can you just imagine the useless officers.. asking you for receipt for cat? These people are truly jobless. It makes a mockery of our police system. They seriously need to introduce some training initiative to re-educate and reform nigerian police officers. What we currently have is a complete embarrassment.

Just my two rupees worth.

Standtall said...

@ Tolantino: you are very right on this. They need proper training. thanks for stopping by

felix said...

nice one,... when i hear people from akwa ibom, wher i am from speak english,... i thank God i didnt grow up there... lol.

about the police... they neva cease to amaze me... would like to know what you answered him though.

Woomie O! said...

English sha...lemme not talk...
have you listened to Star FM on Thursday morning???
....F, H and L factors at their best.

wande said...

The gramatical blunder has come to stay finally, except you are not born in Nigeria.

You can only miss the darts if yo refused to mix freely with friends.

My Passion, my focus, the change that I want to see in the world - is my propellent factor.

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