Interview Thursday. "No Woman Should Lose her Identity" Says ALOTED

I called her Ms. Inspiration, Ms. Thorough, Ms. Purpose and Ms. Intelligent..... she is much more. She is blogsville powerful female member. She is ALOTED, the owner of PURPOSE DRIVEN Blog. I am honoured to be interacting with you, my-lady

Who is this Purposeful Woman?

My name is Aloted. I am in my late twenties but I feel younger every year, maybe that's why I look nothing like my age. Some of my hobbies include gisting, chatting online, reading, sleeping and travelling in no particular order. I like meeting new people but sometimes can be shy to make the first move. I also enjoy writing and as a result started blogging in May 2006. I wanted an avenue to express myslef, my purpose, some of my thoughts, my faith and to meet other people. My aim is to be an inspiration to people through my blog which I hope I am.

I am proudly Nigerian. I currently live with my hubby (Baale) in the UK. We were one year old this Monday, and we are looking forward to spending many more beautiful and prosperous years together.

What is Feminism to you?

Ah, StandTall, I am waiting for you to answer that question on your blog (smiles)

I don't think I will consider myself a feminist as such but I believe in the power I have as a woman. God created man and woman as equals, but we certainly have different roles to play. There is no need for a power struggle between women and men because if we look within, we would see that we have a kind of power that men do not have. It is high time we realised what it is. We can multi task, we can birth a vision and see it to its completion, we are intuitive, we are emotional being yet very strong. If there was no woman, the human rce would not exist. Becuase of woman, men and women of great talents have been born into the world. We are selffless; we are fighters- we fight for what belong to us. The list goes on and on

No Woman Should:

• loose her identity (the core essence of who she is) in the name of love or anything else
• think that any man is the solution to her problems. God alone can solve our problems
• think that any man is perfect. Neither are you by the way
• hate on other woman

Every Woman Should Know:

• she is wonderfully and beautifully made and doesn't need the approval of any man to validate herself.
• she can achieve her dreamsIf she can think it, then she can achieve it
• how to manage her finances
• how to experience living life by herself- married or single. If you are lonely before you get married, marriage isn't going to change that

Your blog is "Purpose Driven" as you are a purpose-driven woman, can you give us an insight into this purpose?

First, my purpose is simply to do what is right, be kind to others, and to walk humbly with my God

Second: to support my husband and be his help meet

Third: raise up my children (when they come) in the way of the Lord, so that when they are grown they will not depart from it. If I don't do any other thing right, I pray I succeed in this area

Fourth: to fufil my God's given dreams whcihc includes being a role model to younger women

I cannot say I am there yet as I don't get it right every time but I am on my way to achieving my purpose by His grace. I am learning to enjoy the journey. I am learning from my mistakes and taking each day as it comes

Do you have any female role model? Who is she and how has she in.spired you?

I admire a lot of women but my role model of all times is my mother. I hope to be half the woman my mother is. She has a gentle spirit and this is something I aspire to have, as I don't think Aloted can be termed as gentle as such. She is also wise and patient. I see how she relates with my father and sometimes I wonder why she doesn't argue with him but growing up I have realised that a wise woman knows when to talk and to keep quiet.

In fact I can say my mother "controls" my dad and he doesn't even realise it.

Also my mum is very meek. A lot of people confuse meekness with weakness but I have learnt that when you are meek, you will enjoy peace

What is money to you?

It's funny you ask that question. Most of my friends say I m cautious when it comes to money. This I must say is a trait I picked from my mother. My mother made me realise early in life that you do not always buy something because you want it but because you need it. She taught me not to let money control me. but I should be in control of money.

Now to answer you question, money to me is a defense, a shelter. Having moeny, means a comfortable life and protection against the unexpected. The bible says money answers all things. Therefore money is agood thing and everyone must desire to attain financial freedom. Like the common saying goes-money talks and every thing walks (ok we've all heard all the naughty version of this saying)

The bible also says " the love of money is the root of all evil". A lot of people get it mixed up. It is the LOVE of the money that is bad not the money in itself. People set themselves up over money or have even killed and some are en-slaved to money. This shouldn't be. Being financially empowered means "our money is working for us" and not the other way around. That's where I want to be.

Also our money should be used to bless others around us. Givers never lack.

Does it matter who earn more money in a relationship?

If a man earns more than a woman in the relationship should it matter? I think not. If so, it should not matter if the woman earns more than the man. As long as respect, love, honesty and effective communication exist in a relatioship, they shoudl be good to go

Sadly though, it appears to matter in a lot of relationships. If many couples could adopt the "what's mine is yours" policy then lesser arguments on money would occur. Nevertheless, I think there is a lot of onus on both parties to make it work. For the man, if his partner earns more than him, he should not feel threatened subjected to the attributes I mentioned above. You know how men can be egocentric. And because of his ego palaver, women who ear more than thier partners should take care not to rub it in their men's face. It all boils down to the 4 attributes I have mentioned

In which ways can women contribute to the society?

Hmm, well, I think women an contribute to the society in different ways and I will mention three:

1. Women should learn to be at peace with thier neighbours, not to be backbiters or busybodies. They should aspire to be role models to the younger females. They should be supportive of other women and thier dreams. They should stand up for what they believe and not be intimidated by men
2. Women are mothers, both married and signle should endeavour to train up thier children and bring them up to have good morals and values. Good families make up a good society. Children are the future so when they are brought up right, they (both male and female) can impact thier commnities in positive ways
3. In anything a woman finds her hands to do, be it science, politics, economic, medicine, running her home etc, she should do it wholeheartedly and not for eye service.

Do you believe in training up male children to do domestic chores and what impact do you think this will have in the world?

Yes! I most certainly believe in training up all children - both male and female- to do domestic chores. Another thing I learnt from my mum. She had a roaster and every week each if us (I have a brother) took turns to be responsible for putting water in the fridge, washing the dishes, wshing the car etc. Apart from that, everyone had their portion of seeping to do in the house

It saddens me when I hear that some parents take extra time to train up thier daughters but let thier sons off the hook. No wonder we have so many couch potatoes in the world. They get married and thier wives work all day without any help from them. And they are puzzled why thier wives are grouchy or age fast

Training up male children to help out in the house will definitely have a positive impact. I think males will be more considerate and respectufl to the women they meet. They will not see house work as a woman's job. If they are single, they will be able to clean up after themselves withouth waiting for a girlfriend, sister or their mother. If married, it will be second nature for them to assist thier wives at home, which means having a stress-free happy wife/mother and in turn a happy home. We all know if mummy is happy, everyone in the house is, and if mummy is not happy, God help you if you cross her path

Ghana just got thier first female speaker ever after 51 years of independence; do you think this is a break through for women in leadership?

Most certainly, I do not know how mcuh bout politics but I admire women like Dora Akunyili and the work they do. With stuff like these happening in Ghana and other parts of the world, more women will feel motivated to take up more leadership positions.

What more can women do to be in leadership positions?

Like I mentioned eariler, we women should be faithful in anything we find ourselves doing, that is how we can get to the top. We should work our unique gifts. We should stand up for what we believe. omen should begin/continue to read more books/articles on leadership especially on women that are leaders. They say if you want to hide something from a black man/woman, put it in a book. We can learn a thing or two when we read.

Women should develop and have leadership traits such as honesty, kindness, competency, inspirational, broad-mindednesss, fiar-mindedness, courage, intelligence to name a few

What change do you think will happen when more women are in leadership position in thier soceity?

More women in leadership position would mean that the world had undergone a paradigm shift. It will show that we have grown as a global community and ready for a change. Women will surley be empowered. Women and men can then claim fair share of the challenges and opportunities related to leadership

Are there female bloggers you admire? Can you mention 5 and why you admire them?

I think I am going to to copy Afrobabe on this and cheat. Why? Beacuse there are so many female bloggers I admire but alas I can't mention everyone's name. Please pardon me.

First of all, I admire you StandTall, for the difference you are making on blogsville. You STAND up for what you believe and that is something I deeply admire

Thank you so very much

That;s just jara (extra) and not part of the 5 right? (Smiles)

So here goes:

AbujaMaiden: This is a girl who is walking the narrow path and is not scared to share her belief on abstaining before marriage. You rock girl. To me, you are a real woman and a role model.

Jaycees, Rita and Remi: Gosh, any time I visit their blogs, I either receive a confirmation of what god is telling me, or i leave inspired. Sometimes I am too speechless to comment and all I say is "thank you for the word"

Writefreak, Tyger and Nolimit: Writefreak is my very close friend outside blogsville and i admire her and thankful for our friendship. Tyger is also my person outside blogsville. Nolimit knows me through Baale (Check details on her blog) and we are yet to meet in perosn. Very soon girl! I admire how you both write

Good Nigerian Girl: I adimre how you are very Nigerian yet very Canadian. ( I was going to say English just now lol). I am proud of you for yearning to know more about Yoruba culture. May God provide you a good yoruba man after His heart according to His will for you

Vera Ezimora: You are in a world/class of your own. You amaze and amuse me. You are too much...you rock blogsville!

Madam Standtall, I am grateful for this opportunity to be interviewed by you. In fact, I am flabberwhelmed and overgasted. Well done with the work you are doing. God bless you!

Thanks for murdering English (lol). The pleasure is completely mine. I am honoured to have you accept.