Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Before I lost her
And she took ill. She battled to regain her health . It took forever and this wish never came to be. It was diagnosed that she's got Mysthenia Gravis, a rare but terminal illness.
Then the battle began, the battle to take care of her, while keeping my 7 to 7 cafe job, while struggling to pay the bills. I wished for her to be well, she wished for me not to suffer so much. With lack of resources, we struggled on. We struggled to get her expensive drugs, we struggled to feed. No help was enough for us.
I was becoming thiner and sicker. She noticed and wept. Forever wanting things to be different. Yes, she wished even when she didn't communicate it, I could sense it, I could feel it, the pains in her silence. She watched as I struggle to make things work out for us. She watched as I struggled with my job and with taking care of her.
At some point in her illness, her doctor ordered some tests to be done in far away in Lagos. I had to get to Lagos. I had to get the tests done. Doctor said they were very important. So I had to look for away to get to Lagos as fuel scarcity and hike in transportation fares were the order of the moment. The expense of travelling far to get her expsensive drugs in this fuel scarcity time had drained the little money we had left. What was there to be done?
Then help shown up. My then boss asked me to follow her car to Lagos. I was happy. I had to go to her house and wait for her driver and one of her younger brothers to go with us. Then, I was faced with cruelty. I was faced with her yet another younger brother with that wicked look. Always cold and distant. Always looking angry. He was often in his army cap or uniform but he wasn't in the service no longer.
He ordered me out of their abode. I protested cuz I have done nothing wrong (I thought). The driver persuaded me to leave and wait outside. In my confused state, I moved out but not fast enough as he (the cold looking brother of my boss) approached me with horsewhip! Who was that meant for? It was for me. I was horsewhipped! It was merciless. It was non-stop! People gahered and watched helplessly. No one could come to my rescue
Why oh why. I was beating by a psychiatric patient. Why was I never told he is not mentally okay? Why was I never warned to be careful around him even when he came to the cafe? And she carried with me, YES MY SICK MOTHER DID.
I had to proceed to Lagos but the test didn't save her. I lost her in a cold and wicked day of 25th February, 2003 to be precise. She departed unceremoniously.
DAMN THE HOSPITAL SYSTEM!
DAMN OUR POOR FINANCIAL STATE!
DAMN THE SOCIETY THAT LIKES PARTY INSTEAD OF STARTING FOUNDATIONS THAT CAN HELP!
DAMN EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG!
That was how "Maami" (my mother) left. To be seen know more. To talk to know more. To fight with no more. To pray for me know more. To love me know more...
It's being SIX YEARS but it feels like yesterday.Continue to rest in peace mami. It's been so so lonely without you. And to Standtall Husband mother, who died same day 2 years apart, you are on our minds.
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