Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Stop! You don't have to say yes!
Caught in the web of family expectation, this young woman of twenty is about to throw her education away and get married to a man she barely knows. This man in question was introduced to her by her elder and married sister, who then told the mother about the man’s intention to marry the younger sister, a twenty year old geology student at a Malian University.
My concern in this very matter is how things like this happen to young women all over the world, where their guardians or even parents from their societal understanding tried vehemently to explain to the girls how they will not find any other man as good as the ones they are pushing forth, if they girl should say NO. They are quick to remind these young confused minds on how Ms. P was unable to get a man after she has used all her life to acquire education and they quickly want these girls to stop in their track, if they do not want to be met with the same fate. On and on the brainwashing goes, till the victim eventually throws away her education, her aspiration to cliff with a man she barely knows!
At least, it is a duty one owes oneself to have a deep awareness of the life ahead. To be able to make the choice convincingly whether good or bad that this is the way I want to go, this is what I want to do and my life will not cease to be meaningful if I toll the path of my dream. But if your life has taken the wrong turn before you are even aware of the disservice you are doing yourself, then by the time of awakening, you are far gone in the game! I am sad that I do not speak the language of this young lady of twenty that I met through one of my housemates in Mali who asked me not to mention to her that he told me the story. Even if I had wanted to betray the trust, my French and Bamba’a are both not good enough to hold a conversation with her. And the very person that can be our intermediary has since sworn me into secrecy!
The few worlds I need to say if I have the chance is for her to be sure of her choice. For her to take a deep breath, close her eyes and imagine what she can achieve as a person and not as a married woman. To imagine what difference her life would make if she chooses to finish her education and pursue her dream (if any). To seriously think if there will never be any man as good as the one she barely even know but judging from the point of view of her sister and mother… all these and more I would like to share with this young woman of twenty who wants to get married to a man she does not even know at all because she was told that he is working and she might not get the same gold mine if this one passes her by.
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