Wednesday, January 6, 2016

What really happened? Date Rape of Zebra Crossing on Etisalat 2015 Flash Fiction - Toyin Ajao

Early in November 2015 Etisalat Prize for Literature released its approved 2015 Flash Fiction Short Story entries. It enabled the public through the social media to vote their preferred story after which the judges will select winners from the top voted stories.

The idea is to promote upcoming writers in Africa whose stories are unpublished. Three winners will receive the following prizes:
Winning Author
  • £1,000 cash prize.
  • High end device.
  • Published e-book promoted online and via SMS.
 Runners Up (2)
  • £500 cash prize (each)
  • High end device
Sounds very promising? There begins the exciting journey of friends rallying round ZebraCrossing, one of the entries on the Etisalat Flash Fiction. The author of this satiric piece that focused on poor service delivery, bad governance and people’s lackadaisical attitudes is Ajisafe Michael Oluwafemi.  He is a promising writer who maintains Flexing Essential Random Thoughts (FERT), an online page where his works are posted for his teeming readership. Ajisafe’s friends in Nigeria and Overseas rallied round his story creating an active support group. More than 10 friends reached over 500 online friends each to vote for Zebra Crossing. In 10 days, his story got over 3000 votes!

This is when the problem started. Etisalat prize displayed “bytes exhausted” message on his story link and the story was gone!  We contacted Etisalat to report this sudden “technical glitch”. No reply was received and neither was the story restored for another two days! When the story was finally back, we continued voting and sharing on social media resulting or over 1,900 shares on groups and individual pages (this was displayed on his link) not to mention the personal messages sent to friends. But the celebration was short lived when the story suddenly disappeared again on the same day.  Then voting closed shortly after on the 25th of November 2015. On the 28th of November, it was discovered that Zebra Crossing is totally gone from Etisalat’s webapage, replaced with “error 404” and  “this article not found” messages.

I had personally taken interest in all the 156 approved entries and voted some captivating stories alongside my friend’s entry. I know for a fact that we had the highest votes as at the time the story disappeared and I had taken screenshots of the voting details. The smartest move of the century!


Ajisafe's friends decided to contact Etisalat upon realising this new development. But our email was of course never replied. Then we decided to go on their Facebook page and on Twitter to expose this date rape experience of Zebra Crossing tagging their judges and patrons. Etisalat has initially shortlisted 50 top stories from entries that received over 2000 and less than 300 votes but the highest voted story at our last inventory was not among this list! Finally, after some 48 hours of unrelenting public outcry of many of us demanding to know what happened to Zebra Crossing on their 2015 Flash Fiction Category, Etisalat finally gave into our pressure. Etisalat replied and promised to look at the issue and give feedback. This is promising but I am not deterred to follow up. Thus, the issue did not rest there.

Etisalat thereby restored Zebra Crossing and one other story - that now made the first spot - making the list 52 instead of 50 and Zebra Crossing at number two. I looked through the updated list and I noticed another glitch.  Zebra Crossing vote history was gone and share history on Facebook and Twitter displayed zero! What? I quickly checked other stories and their votes and share history were intact! There ensued another circle of tweeting to ask why. Finally, Etisalat released a separate list showcasing the top 52 stories with voting details, authors names and stories titles. Informing the public @etisalatread that this is the list the judges are reviewing. While on their Etisalat Prize for Literature webpage, the votes and share history of all the shortlisted entries are removed.


I am a still baffled at these inconsistencies and Etisalat’s lack of transparency to tell us why in the first place we have to be having this conversation. A large telecommunication company like Etisalat cannot be having bytes issues at 3000+ votes. It sounds ridiculous and to take out a story that did well on its Flash Fiction category is suspicious to say the least.

I am therefore asking again for Etisalat to tell us the reason behind this unpleasant situation. Nobody has forced the company to give back to the society through African Literature promotion. It is a corporate responsibility that Etisalat has chosen and carrying on with this duty without hidden agenda or bias will be the way to go. If we had not had evidence to back up our claim that Etisalat is bias or has sabotaged a story, it would have gone noticed.

To put this matter to bed, it is desirable that Etisalat tells the Internet community what happened in the first place. What happened?

Toyin Ajao is a peace and conflict doctoral fellow and assistant lecturer at the University of Pretoria, South Africa. She is also an alumna of the African Leadership Centre, Nairobi, Kenya, King's College London, London, UK and Obafemi Awolowo University, Nigeria. Her research interests include human security, conflict transformation, citizen journalism, feminism, gender, and sexual rights.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Etisalat Prize for Literature Amended and Published the Top 52 #2015FlashFiction

Due to our public outcry on social media, Etisalat Prize for Literature has restored  #ZebraCrossing on its #2015FlashFiction category.  It is now at the top #2 after Etisalat released the list of its top 52;  now consisting of two apparently sabotaged stories! No explanation is given for why these two highly voted short stories disappeared!  Published on their Twitter  @etisalatreads is the list of the top #52 reflecting their voting details. I am at peace with that and I hope the list will be presented to the judges to make their final decision. I hope too that #ZebraCrossing wins!!!


Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Zebra Crossing Vote and Share History Deleted by EtisalatPrize

After the public outcry of many of us demanding to know what happened to the highest voted #ZebraCrossing #shortstory in the #2015FlastFiction of #EtisalatPrizeforLiterature, the story was restored. But the issue did not rest there.

The story was restored but in the exchange between #EtisalatPrize and me or through its twitter handle @etisalatreads, no tangible explanation was given on why a popular story on their page disappeared from the final top 50 list!

Something fishy is going on. I am convinced now because before the #ZebraCrossing #DateRape outcry, the top 50 stories have all the numbers of votes and their share aggregates on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. But now, the voting detail is gone!

The story is now 52. Meaning there is one other story affected in this #daterape. Now with no voting detail, how do the judges gauge the public receptions of these stories? Now what is left are details of Facebook, Twitter and Google+ shares. Every other story now has those details except #ZebraCrossing with its 1900+ Facebook, 35+ Twitter and 12+ Google shares as at the time of its disappearance.

This is becoming more interesting because it seems that EtisalatPrize deliberately sabotage #ZebraCrossing. But why?

Why has this continued even in their effort to right this wrong due to our public outcry? I ask EtisalatPrize to please be very transparent and trustworthy by displaying all the voting and share history of all the top 52 stories on the #2015FlashFiction.

Recent Display of Voting and Share History

Previous Display of Voting and Share History (second to last screenshot)

Etisalat Eliminated Zebra Crossing Highest Voted Short Story on Etisalat #2015FlashFiction

Dear Etisalat Prize for Literature Coordinator, 
we are reaching out again to seek clarification and justification for abruptly eliminating Zebra Crossing with the highest numbers of voters from the 2015 Flash Fiction Competition. Thus:

We, the undersigned demand to know from Etisalat Prize for Literature why Zebra Crossing by Ajisafe Michael Oluwafemi #2015FlashFiction short story link was displaying "error 404" and why with its highest votes of 3000+ did not make the 50 top stories just released yesterday! Stories that amassed 2000+ to 200+ votes made it but not Zebra Crossing! What happened?

Ajisafe Michael Oluwafemi is a promising writer who maintains Flexing Essential Random Thoughts (FERT); an online page where his works are posted for his teeming readership.

A number of us, his friends, were excited about his being shortlisted for the Etisalat prize and created a loose and active support team that shared the link to the story via social media, and encouraged friends to read Zebra Crossing and vote for it if they liked it. We were very excited to watch endorsements for Zebra Crossing grow, exceeding our expectations by amassing over 3,000 votes; the highest on the 2015 Flash Fiction Category! You must then understand our confusion when the article's link started responding with 'bytes were exhausted", "error 404" and "this article not found" messages. Now followed by a complete exclusion of this story in the top 50!!!

We've tried to contact Etisalat via emails and no response is received. Neither are we getting any response via Twitter nor Facebook.

The Etisalat Prize for Literature chose to include the online platform in its short stories decision but why disregard the wish of the same online platform by not reckoning with their votes? This is not about winning but about fairness and transparency!

We demand to know what is going on!!!



See screenshots of evidence for more that 3000+ and 1800 FB share.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

This is goodbye to my blog!

I don't know how I feel about this but it is for a good cause. I have decided to close this blog not because I have run out of ideas or I am no longer interested in women and social issues but I have to make a crucial decision. I still remain a blogger and an activist. But at this point in my life, I am transitioning into the academia. I started my PhD a few weeks ago at the university of Pretoria. I will be focusing on the roles of citizen journalism in conflict transformation in Zimbabwe, looking at public perceptions. I have a research work on the sexual minority discrimination and the draconian law passed recently in Nigeria to "jail the gays". I want to work on getting this published. Now,  I have three years of commitment to contribute to knowledge in the field of peace and conflict in Africa by taking a multidisciplinary approach and fill the dearth of knowledge in social media and conflict transformation. I will be lecturing too while at it.
This is a new and exciting journey that will require my consciousness, awareness and mindfulness on this quest. When I get a hang of this, I will fuse my activism with academia and I want to be a researcher and a lecturer with a difference. At least, in the next four years or so, I want to make meaning and continue to think of best approaches to finding sustainable solutions to human security challenges in Africa. I have nurtured and loved this blog for six years. I have met wonderful people, I have developed good friendship with amazing people and we have generated practical ideas of change together and to some, we have fought on principles and values. I have won two international awards with this very blog just writing from my heart. Also, two Naija blogger awards for best use of activism and most likely to become a talk show-host. I say thanks to you all for sticking with me; with my grammatical errors and outstanding contributions. Interview Thursday is a series that I will never forget as it was straight-forward honest opinions from the members of the Blogshere that I interviewed on serious issues and personal issues. I thank you all.

Check out my posts on feminism, women's rights, gender, equality, children rights, poems and my love for cats along side interview Thursday. You can also check out my contribution to Free2Run blog on women in political leadership. I will be back but perhaps in a new blog with combination of themes that will speak to my growth and development as well as love for what I continue to do. I love you all!

Friday, October 18, 2013

The Rainbow Intersection; Dialogue about Race, Culture and Sexuality

Please, do not miss this event if you are in the UK as Ade Adeniji and Bisi Alimi look at the issue of Race, Culture and Sexuality in this Black History Month event...

Saturday, October 5, 2013

RETHINKING AFRICA: Where is your Dignity (Omoluabi) Africans? By OBK

Where is your Dignity (Omoluabi) Africans?

Some Africans dislike that part of history that told how their fathers fell from grace to the grass to sandy soil For this, they shy away from debates. Africans that chose to degrade their fathers and make mockery of their Ancestors are like muddy waters, their vision are unclear, never afraid to analyze and engage them, you'll find out that they are shallow.

I also give kudos to the White man. Those that venture into athe unknown and became my fathers captors for a successful expedition. The battles that captured trade and commerce, culture and tradition and the image of God of my fathers. I Acknowledge it. This might be the only way to learn and detox yourself of hate against innocent White men. However, we can not learn alone how to socially integrate with the white communities without economy independence and development of our own communities and science to preserve our unique way of life.

Economy independence is the war we have to fight. Within our communities and against imperialism and economy enslavement by the western world. If we lose this battle, Africans would remain in slavery forever.

A wise man is always learning from his mistakes. If our ancestors were once a slave. It is your duty to know and learn from their error. So that what befell them will not be your portion. Beware of those who claimed your fore fathers worship lesser gods. Protect your household from your brothers that hides behind Christianity, Islam and Atheism to camouflage their self hate for everything African.

Any religion or ideology that teaches you that you are sons and daughters of savages. It is an oppressive tool or it is you that has misunderstood what it teaches.

Know this about your brothers who pride themselves on modernism and false platform of progress. They will tell you they don't have a race, that they are citizen of the world. But they are quick to flash their red and blue passport.Take Pictures in front of Buckingham palace and the Statue of Liberty. And proclaim their new citizenship.

When did the British stopped being a gentlemen due to the inter connectivity of the world through the World Wide Web (WWW)? When did American stopped being cowboys because of the sudden rise of China? Only African men and women wants to be everything else but an African. As if their African identity stopped them from been a resident of this earth.

To justify their anti African stands. They will quote white supremacist. That killed, raped and loot their inheritance. Why would an African want other Africans to accept the definition of Sir Lord Lugard of the Niger area people now called Nigerians today? How can African elders want wise young Africans with unlimited pride in their culture and tradition; take them seriously if they continue to use the description of P.W. Botha to qualify Africans?

Why is the so called African elite, would even attempt to defend such description of Africans? Why do we allow the world to call us the, 'third world?" When our natural resources developed everywhere else but Africa. Why do we pride ourself how well we have adapted to foreign cultures but not how well we have developed and evolved culturally and scientifically? Only a crab rejoices about the size of his stomach and buttocks, looks at everything with humongous pair of eyeball's but without a head.

If the eyes are well rested, one would see the tip ones nose. To you, the Monkey might look ugly, but that is the jewel in the eyes of the Monkeys mother. When push comes to shove. The world has a name for you. It does not matter the color of your passport or your present citizenship.
The world is not blind or ignorant about where you came from. Why is it so difficult for you to accept that fact?

I would not lie to you it has not been easy. At the same time I love me for me. I am a Yoruba African. A Yorubian by birth from Oyo Ile. I have no problem accepting every good and bad of my people. I have no shame in telling you the greatness of my ancestors. And part of my culture and tradition I wished never existed. Why would you think I should be furious when you call me, "Afrocentric?" It could be the same reason why Europeans are Eurocentric. Just saying.

Even if you find me across the Atlantic Ocean. I would not change but grow old and frail into a better 'Omoluabi.' Don't get me wrong. Africa can not survive in isolation. At the same time, Africans can not be respected in this modern world as a perfect caricature others. We have to stop believing in the independence of Africa that was documented and thought in our schools. In reality, Africa is still a plantation. She can never be free until you liberate yourself from the invisible shackles of economy slavery.

Odua Balogun Kakanfo (OBK).

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Call on Applications on Course on Leadership & Society

The African Leadership Centre (ALC) invites applications from scholars practitioners and policy makers from the Southern Africa region to attend a 10-day training course on Leadership and Society from 17th to 27th October 2013 in Lusaka, Zambia.

This course is convened by the African Leadership Centre in partnership with King’s College London. Please find attached announcement with more details.

For more information visit: http://applications.africanleadershipcentre.org/professional

Kindly apply and/or circulate among your networks.


Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Sindi Medar-Gould Memorial

The Nigerian Feminist Forum (NFF) hereby invites you to a memorial in honor of the Late Sindi Medar-Gould who until her death was a steering committee member of the Nigerian Feminist Forum.

TERRA Kulture, Plot 1376, Tiamiyu Savage, Off Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos. 
Wednesday 26th, June, 2013.
11am-1pm Prompt.
Let's make this a celebration of life for our dearest Shameless Sindi.


Thursday, June 20, 2013

ALC Africa's Debates

A must to attend... There is also online streaming on the 24th of June.

Monday, June 17, 2013

African Leadership Centre Simulation event Nairobi (2013)

The African Leadership Centre (ALC) invites you to the ALC Africa Debates:
“Is the current wave of global interest a new struggle for Africa?”
24th June 2013 at 1000–1230
ED 213, Education Building, University of Nairobi

The African Leadership Centre (ALC) was established in Nairobi in June 2010 as a joint initiative of King`s College London and the University of Nairobi. Through its Fellowship Programmes, the ALC aims to contribute to Africa’s long term security and development by mentoring the talent of young African leaders.

The ALC Africa Debates are a core part of the ALC Fellowship programme. These are high-level role-play sessions where Fellows discuss and act out the roles of key personalities involved in the management of significant security situations in Africa. The Simulation sessions provide an opportunity for the Fellows to display their analysis of current affairs from a variety of perspectives as well as their capacity to critically engage with the public on the most pertinent issues affecting Africa today.

This year`s ALC Africa Debates is titled ‘Is the current wave of global interest a new struggle for Africa?’ This simulation seminar will consider the current wave of global interest in a continent that was once characterized as ‘the scar of the conscience of the world’. This state of affairs has led to positive outcomes on the one hand with high and rising information technology absorption and production levels and on the other hand, negative outcomes with national and regional insurgencies with links to global terrorist-related networks. International interests in Africa have never been so diverse from former colonial powers, the increasingly prominent emerging economic powers: BRIC and more clandestine elements, including AQIM.

These developments have occurred against the background of energized global economic policy regimes; international peace and security interventions; as well as international engagement on the delivery of justices. However, rebellion against this overarching system has also been used as the rallying cry for global radicalization processes that have sometimes tipped over into violent extremism. We must ask whether the gains are sufficient to tolerate the negative outcomes.

The debates are an excellent tool to help us understand the problems that our continent faces from all perspectives: those that we are comfortable with and even those that we are less comfortable with. The event will also give us a glimpse at the wonderful work being done by the African Leadership Centre, King’s College London and the University of Nairobi on preparing young Africans for their leadership roles today. So please come and join the debate!

Arrival: 1000

Welcome Remarks: 1030-1100
Dr 'Funmi Olonisakin, Director, ALC

Coffee: 1130-1130

Simulation seminar: 1130 – 1230

The Simulation Exercise is undertaken by: ALC Peace and Security Fellows

(Current Fellows are from Burundi, Ethiopia, Ghana, Kenya, Madagascar and Sudan)

Monday, June 10, 2013

Human 16.0 by Ronke Akintade-Ogunleye

Dear Who- or Whatever designed humans,

I noticed your attempts at humans 1.0 - from the apemen, to your homo-erectile [dysfunction] attempt or whatever that funny name is, and several other attempts, and now us -the homo sapiens (I heard there are 15 designs in all!!!). I just thought you might like my idea since you are so adventurous :)

Here are some suggestions for HUMAN 16.0:

1. Be sure to install a mechanism that will automatically regrow another organ when the existing ones begin to tire out.
2. Be sure to make humans have both sex organs so they they can use whichever they are in the mood for. That should put paid to the issue of gender or sexual discrimination!
3. And while you are at it - could you make it so they don't have to kill anything in order to eat? - not even plants. I don't know how you're gonna do it, but you are the genius. Figure it out.
4. Could you also ensure that people reproduce just enough to replace them? And if some choose not to reproduce, then grant the baby lovers extra - but just enough to replace the non-reproducers. That should take care of population problems.
5. Better yet, how about babies grow just like plants - in our gardens! They should watch how things are done from their transparent pods. And when they are ready, drop with a fanfare, and join the rest of us - already potty trained and able to get their own food etc. None of the helpless crying bit! That should stop all the pre-natal and post-partum problems.
6. How about you get rid of dying as we know it? When it's time to go - we go with a fanfare just as we came. We invite friends and family, hold the best party of our lives and poof! disappear while dancing. That would be cool as heck!
I feel it's necessary to go because that eternity thing isn't what it's cracked out to be. I can't imagine being in the place, doing the same thing, knowing the same people for eternity. I'll be bored stiff after a couple of hundred years!

Now, what should we call HUMAN 16.0?……... How about HOMO-PERFECT!
Lol.

Thanks for listening….or not.

It's just me again - your imaginative being,
Ronke

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Poetry 14 - MODELING FOR MY SANITY BY KRWILLIAMS


stretched out against your back
at five oclock in the morning
touching you and affirming my basics
flowing into the day

model with a body
that draws out greed and passion
adds dreaminess to my eyes
and forces my lazy lips into a
satisfied smile

watching you
from muramvya to gitega
my brown vision work your sexy frame
taking a little and teasing myself
seeing no other
your eyes cut into me
instigating a silent, sweet flood
your mouth
I join peter abrahams in describing
The deep beautiful things on your face that
Want to be kissed
your delicious smile
then your back
i could rest on you
forever

except for the times when you
make my passion soar
or move to the front
feeling you more

your gentle strength
is physically threatening
to those who sense the value
in this mirage

male model with a body
that sustains pleasure, passion
and my mind

Monday, June 3, 2013

Why I Am a Male Feminist - Byron Hurt


The word turns off a lot of men (insert snarky comment about man-hating feminazis here) -- and women. But here's why black men should be embracing the "f" word.

When I was a little boy, my mother and father used to argue a lot. Some mornings, I would wake up to the alarming sound of my parents arguing loudly. The disagreement would continue until my father would yell with finality, "That is it! I'm not talking about this anymore!" The dispute would end right there. My mother never got the last word.

My dad's yelling made me shrink in fear; I wanted to do something to make him stop raging against my mother. In those moments, I felt powerless because I was too small to confront my father. I learned early that he had an unfair advantage because of his gender. His size, strength and power intimidated my mother. I never saw my father hit her, but I did witness how injurious his verbal jabs could be when they landed on my mom's psyche.

My father didn't always mistreat my mother, but when he did, I identified with her pain, not his bullying. When he hurt her, he hurt me, too. My mother and I had a special bond. She was funny, smart, loving and beautiful. She was a great listener who made me feel special and important. And whenever the going got tough, she was my rock and my foundation.
One morning, after my father yelled at my mom during an argument, she and I stood in the bathroom together, alone, getting ready for the day ahead of us. The tension in the house was as thick as a cloud of dark smoke. I could tell that my mother was upset. "I love you, Ma, but I just wish that you had a little more spunk when you argue with Daddy," I said, low enough so my father couldn't hear me. She looked at me, rubbed my back and forced a smile.

I so badly wanted my mother to stand up for herself. I didn't understand why she had to submit to him whenever they fought. Who was he to lay down the law in the household? What made him so special?

I grew to resent my father's dominance in the household, even though I loved him as dearly as I loved my mother. His anger and intimidation shut down my mother, sister and me from freely expressing our opinions whenever they didn't sit well with his own. Something about the inequity in their relationship felt unjust to me, but at that young age, I couldn't articulate why.

One day, as we sat at the kitchen table after another of their many spats, my mother told me, "Byron, don't ever treat a woman the way your father treats me." I wish I had listened to her advice.

As I grew older and got into my own relationships with girls and women, I sometimes behaved as I saw my father behave. I, too, became defensive and verbally abusive whenever the girl or woman I was dating criticized or challenged me. I would belittle my girlfriends by scrutinizing their weight or their choices in clothes. In one particular college relationship, I often used my physical size to intimidate my petite girlfriend, standing over her and yelling to get my point across during arguments.

I had internalized what I had seen in my home and was slowly becoming what I had disdained as a young boy. Although my mother attempted to teach me better, I, like a lot of boys and men, felt entitled to mistreat the female gender when it benefited me to do so.
After graduating from college, I needed a job. I learned about a new outreach program that was set to launch. It was called the Mentors in Violence Prevention Project. As a student-athlete, I had done community outreach, and the MVP Project seemed like a good gig until I got a real job in my field: journalism.

Founded by Jackson Katz, the MVP Project was designed to use the status of athletes to make gender violence socially unacceptable. When I met with Katz, I didn't realize that the project was a domestic violence prevention program. Had I known that, I wouldn't have gone in for the job interview.

So when Katz explained that they were looking to hire a man to help institutionalize curricula about preventing gender violence at high schools and colleges around the country, I almost walked out the door. But during my interview, Katz asked me an interesting question. "Byron, how does African-American men's violence against African-American women uplift the African-American community?"

No one had ever asked me that question before. As an African-American man who was deeply concerned about race issues, I had never given much thought about how emotional abuse, battering, sexual assault, street harassment and rape could affect an entire community,just as racism does.
The following day, I attended a workshop about preventing gender violence, facilitated by Katz. There, he posed a question to all of the men in the room: "Men, what things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?"

Not one man, including myself, could quickly answer the question. Finally, one man raised his hand and said, "Nothing." Then Katz asked the women, "What things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?" Nearly all of the women in the room raised their hand. One by one, each woman testified:

"I don't make eye contact with men when I walk down the street," said one.
"I don't put my drink down at parties," said another.
"I use the buddy system when I go to parties."
"I cross the street when I see a group of guys walking in my direction."
"I use my keys as a potential weapon."
"I carry mace or pepper spray."
"I watch what I wear."

The women went on for several minutes, until their side of the blackboard was completely filled with responses. The men's side of the blackboard was blank. I was stunned. I had never heard a group of women say these things before. I thought about all of the women in my life -- including my mother, sister and girlfriend -- and realized that I had a lot to learn about gender.

Days after that workshop, Katz offered me the job as a mentor-training specialist, and I accepted his offer. Although I didn't know much about gender issues from an academic standpoint, I quickly learned on the job. I read books and essays by bell hooks, Patricia Hill Collins, Angela Davis and other feminist writers.

Like most guys, I had bought into the stereotype that all feminists were white, lesbian, unattractive male bashers who hated all men. But after reading the work of these black feminists, I realized that this was far from the truth. After digging into their work, I came to really respect the intelligence, courage and honesty of these women.

Feminists did not hate men. In fact, they loved men. But just as my father had silenced my mother during their arguments to avoid hearing her gripes, men silenced feminists by belittling them in order to dodge hearing the truth about who we are.

I learned that feminists offered an important critique about a male-dominated society that routinely, and globally, treated women like second-class citizens. They spoke the truth, and even though I was a man, their truth spoke to me. Through feminism, I developed a language that helped me better articulate things that I had experienced growing up as a male.

Feminist writings about patriarchy, racism, capitalism and structural sexism resonated with me because I had witnessed firsthand the kind of male dominance they challenged. I saw it as a child in my home and perpetuated it as an adult. Their analysis of male culture and male behavior helped me put my father's patriarchy into a much larger social context, and also helped me understand myself better.

I decided that I loved feminists and embraced feminism. Not only does feminism give woman a voice, but it also clears the way for men to free themselves from the stranglehold of traditional masculinity. When we hurt the women in our lives, we hurt ourselves, and we hurt our community, too.

As I became an adult, my father's behavior toward my mother changed. As he aged he mellowed, and stopped being so argumentative and verbally abusive. My mother grew to assert herself more whenever they disagreed.

It shocked me to hear her get in the last word as my father listened without getting angry. That was quite a reversal. Neither of them would consider themselves to be feminists, but I believe they both learned over time how to be fuller individuals who treated each other with mutual respect. By the time my father died from cancer in 2007, he was proudly sporting the baseball cap around town that I had given him that read, "End Violence Against Women." Who says men can't be feminists?

Byron Hurt is an award-winning documentary filmmaker and anti-sexist activist. 
http://www.theroot.com/views/why-i-am-male-feminist

Friday, May 31, 2013

Relax and Release...

Relax the muscles
Release the tensions
Restore the smile
Refocus on the goal
Rearrange the thinking
Rejuvenate the mind
Resurrect the day



Sunday, April 14, 2013

Where I call HOME

Home is where my heart beats.
Where I find my peace.
Where I co-exist with others.
Where I gaze at the world with happiness and wonder.

Home is where my feet touch.
My mouth grins and feeds.
My hands, a firm grips on the simplicity of life.
My body moves to the rhythm of beats and music.

Home is where I call home.
Home is where I find my freedom.
I am a gypsy woman, a citizen of the universe.

Home is where I go.
Home is where I stay.
Wherever that may be.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Goodnight Sindi Medar-Gould

You will be missed Sindi Medar-gould. You have inspired many. You have touched endless lives (mine inclusive). A wonderful leader, an ardent feminist, a committed change-maker. Am glad we passed through each other's ways. You will be loved forever- till the end of my days.

GOODNIGHT, GOODBYE SHAMELESS SINDI.






Monday, March 11, 2013

WORDS, BIG AND SMALL by Donald Molosi

rings and roses vanish, fleet and pass without leaving a trace.
but words are forever so, speak for this love lives on words
and words alone can ink themselves deep into my heart and
not rings, not roses, not a new house. no. no.
speak and i will live on your words, i will drink every word and i will
follow the breath of your lips to where it will land a new loving word.
no rings, no roses - they vanish, they fleet, they pass;
speak! and i will swallow your words deep into me
and make of them my core and essence. yes. yes.
keep speaking and giving me words big and small.
my darling artist, keep talking, writing and
painting your words and in all of them i will delight.
but like my Lord i will ask again that if you build me a mansion then you should build it in
the path of a flood.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The African Leadership Centre now offers Postgraduate courses at King's College, London

The African Leadership Centre is pleased to announce that from the 2013-2014 academic year it will be offering two new MSc programmes at King's College, London. These two fantastic postgraduate programmes are:

1. The MSc Leadership & Development.
2. The MSc Security, Leadership & Society.


Both programmes are available now for online application via the King’s College London application system.To apply for The MSc Leadership & Development please visit:  


To apply for The MSc Security, Leadership & Society please visit: 


For more information on the programmes and their modules please visit the ALC website:  http://www.kcl.ac.uk/aboutkings/worldwide/initiatives/global/alc/index.aspx

You are looking the opportunity to advance your knowledge on leadership, security, development and the society with practical tools and solutions? You have found the answers!
My Passion, my focus, the change that I want to see in the world - is my propellent factor.

Label Cloud

Gender (72) Feminism (46) Interview Thursday (46) Gender Equality (38) Gender and Development (29) Cat lover (24) Poem (24) Cat Tuesday (22) Women's Human Rights (19) Cats World (16) 16 Days of Activism (11) Africa (11) Violence Against Women (8) Information Sharing (7) Music (7) Nigeria Development (7) Women and Leadership (7) Children Rights (6) Exprience (6) Leadership (6) Rest in Peace (6) Change and Development (5) Corruption (5) Day to Day Exprience (5) Events (5) Governance (5) MDGs (5) Peace and Security Fellowship for African Women (5) Relationship (5) Security and Development (5) Women (5) Call for Application (4) Change Maker (4) Dairy (4) Mistake (4) Navy abuse of Uzoma Okere (4) Nigeria in Focus (4) Relationship and Marriage (4) The Feminist Cats (4) BlogHer (3) Chicago July Trip (3) Children (3) Discrimination Against Women (3) Domestic Violence (3) Injustice (3) King;s College Fellowship (3) Lessons (3) Niger Delta Crisis (3) Online Community (3) Religion Matters (3) Travelling (3) Wedding (3) Women Activists (3) Women Empowerment (3) Women in Governance (3) Youth (3) democracy in Nigeria (3) 2009 Edition (2) A girl-Soldier (2) Activism (2) Annivesary (2) BlogHer Conference Scholarship (2) Bloggers for life (2) Democracy and its Struggle (2) Female writers (2) Forced Marriage (2) IAC09 (2) ICT4D (2) International Wome's Rights Day 2008 (2) Journey to London (2) LGBTI (2) Lack of respect for other people's perspectives. (2) Life from Cape Town in South Africa (2) Lovely Cats (2) Male Child Preference (2) Male Child and Domestic Chores (2) Memories (2) My Boss (2) My life in London (2) Nigerian Youth and Development (2) Nigerianstalk (2) No to VAW (2) Rape (2) Sexual Violence and GBV (2) Taking Peace and Security (2) Technology Camp for Girls (2) The Admired Female Bloggers (2) The Changemakers (2) The Future of Nigerian children (2) The Late Kudirat Abiola's Remembrance (2) The Martyr of Democracy (2) The girl child and her chanllenges (2) Untimely death (2) Uzoma Okere court hearing (2) V-Monologues (2) Violation of Human Rights (2) Women making a difference (2) 10 years remembrance for the O.A.U 5. (1) 1in 9 Campaign (1) 2010 self-surfacing resolutions (1) A Ride with my Father (1) A just world with God (1) ALF Program (1) AWID Forum 2008 (1) Activism Scholarship (1) Adaeze Experience (1) African Sexualities (1) Aspiring Filmmaker (1) Bad Leaders (1) Beating by a mad man (1) Becoming my Cats (1) CSDG (1) Career (1) Child Marriage (1) Children without education (1) Children without future (1) Climate Change (1) Conflicts (1) Corrpution and Hooliganism (1) Court System (1) DLTW for Young Female Doctors (1) Democracy Day (1) Divorce and Marriage (1) Dupe In Kenya (1) ECOSAP (1) Evangelist Taye Ajiboye (1) Extreme poverty (1) Female Circumcision (1) Female Film-Makers (1) Girls in Technology (1) Global Warming (1) Government (1) Hafsat Abiola and KIND (1) Human Behaviour and attitudes (1) I didn't do it for you by Michela Wrong (1) ICT and Women (1) Images from Mali (1) Incest (1) Indecent Dressing Bill (1) Info -Activism (1) Internattional Bloggers Community Award (1) Job Search (1) Journey across Africa (1) June 8 and Abacha’s death (1) Kenya July Trip (1) Knowing our continent (1) Lagos State Government (1) MOBILIZATION (1) Mali (1) Marriage (1) Michela Wrong book on Eritrea (1) Mother 6th Remembrance (1) Movement Building. AWID Forum 2008 (1) My first post from London (1) My health (1) NDQ Interview (1) Naija Blogger Awards 2009 (1) Natural Hair (1) Negative quotation on women (1) Newspaper review (1) Nigeria Media (1) Nigerian Sporting Activities (1) Nigerians and Abacha’s death (1) No light (1) No to FGM (1) Obama Prank (1) Outsanding Ore (1) PHCN and Nigeria Government (1) Passing though Ghana (1) Passing through Burkina Security and Development (1) Pastor Kehinde Ajiboye (1) Peace and Secuirty issues in the Horn (1) Police Force (1) Polygamist (1) Pregnancy and child bearing in marriage (1) Punishment of an elderly woman in Saudi (1) Rape Victim (1) Road and Bus Evangelism (1) Road trip to Mali (1) SOLIDARITY WTH WOMEN WHO SPEAK OUT (1) Self Defence for Women (1) Senseless killing by armed robbers (1) Serious Issues (1) Standtall Adevnture (1) Suicide bombing (1) Summit (1) Tactical Tech (1) Take Back the Tech (1) Tell Magazine (1) Terrorist Attack (1) The Uncoventional Clergy woman (1) The Bauchi Killings (1) The EU Summit Report (1) The Eritrea history (1) The July 10 Martyr (1) The Liberian Women peace building effort (1) The O.A.U 5 (1) The PM Tabloid (1) The danger of a single story (1) The late social Crusader (1) The meeting with London Bloggers (1) The rescued kitten (1) This Violence must stop (1) Tips to having a Happy Relationship (1) Traditional Role (1) Transforming Nigeria (1) Travelling through Africa by Road (1) Tribute to Chief Gani Fawehinmi (1) Tyranny (1) Umar Mutallab (1) Understanding Security (1) Uzoma's Justice (1) Verastically Vera (1) WORLD AIDS DAY (1) We need peace in our land (1) Women E-Campaigners` Training (1) Women In Technology. ICT4D (1) Wrong Culture and Belief (1) Yar'adua (1) Youth as agents of Change (1) meeting US bloggers (1) my love (1)