Thursday, March 19, 2009

Interview Thursday: " Every human is made to fulfill a divine purpose" - Writefreak

I will like to apologise for skipping a few weeks of "Interview Thursday", the situation surronding skipping it was beyond my control. We are back and better with our first awesome woman, Writefreak!

Who is Writefreak?
My name is'm in the last years of my 20s, actually make that the last year. I am a believer and seek God's will for every area of my life, I've been married to the most wonderful man on earth for over two years. I consider myself to be a gift to the world around me and I am always seeking for an opportunity to be a blessing. I have been 'self employed' for almost a year now. I like to call myself a writer. I am a mother to be, a home maker and the definition continues to grow as God continues to reveal who i am to me. The definition continues as the pages of my life keep turning

How is life as a Nigerian?
I am a Nigerian and I am very proud to be one. Life as a Nigerian to me is life as a human being, let's say first because I've never been a citizen of another country. lol. For me life as a Nigerian is waking up in the morning to the sun shining almost everyday of the year. Life as a Nigerian has its challenges but it's what defines the essence of who I am. It's being able to eat amala or iyan when I want. It's sometimes seeing how tough life is for a lot of folks and wishing I could do something about it. Life as a Nigerian is full of laughter.

For me it's having your family close by when you need them; it's being able to start a business without going through a million and one regulations. It's seeing policemen carrying their guns in dangerous ways on our roads. It's seeing a lot of potential going to waste but on the other hand it's seeing some rise from nothing to something. It’s having PHCN seize power many times a day or even for the whole day and asking my Gatemen if we still have fuel for the gen and thanking God we’re able to generate power for ourselves remembering some people cannot. It’s saying a prayer that there will be power when I need it.

Being a Nigerian defines the essence of my being and I love being one. I enjoy being a Nigerian hundred percent! For me life is not hard at all as a Nigerian by God’s grace although I am very aware of the challenges a lot of people go through. I suppose this applies in a lot of other countries.

Mention 5 must keep things and 5 must change things about Nigeria
Must keeps:
-Our rich culture is a must keep. Where else on earth would you go and find so many cultures in one country?

-Level of discipline: A lot of parents are not afraid to discipline their children. These days though some parents are deviating from that.

-The need for God: Whether Christian or muslim or traditional worshipper, Nigerians have a sense of awe for the most high. That is an admirable trait

-The language: Most people think it is backward to speak native languages to their kids these days, there's nothing backward about it. We shouldn't let our local languages go extinct like latin.

-Laughter: Nigerians always laugh even in the face of problems. That is a must keep, laughter is a good medicine

Ok lemme add another one;
Hospitality: Nigerians are very accommodating people and we tend to take care of foreigners. Ask a Nigerian for direction (except in Lagos) and he will almost take you to where you're going

Must change things:
-Corruption: I don't need to preach about this. From the gateman who won't let you into an office until you put your hands in your pocket to give him a tip, to the head of a government parastatal who demands a cut for a contract, it's all corruption. I have faith that someday we will have a Nigeria full of people with integrity!

-Underpriviledged children and child abuse: This gets to me anyday! Everywhere you go, there are abandoned kids, kids begging on the roads while their parents sit for the day's wages under the bridges, children who are not old enough to decide for themselves are sent off as househelps and a lot of them are maltreated. I long for the day that every Nigerian child will be valued!

-Poverty: The major percentage of Nigerians are poor, you can tell this everywhere. It saddens me to know that some people cannot even afford to eat daily!

-Lack of value for human life: You see mad men everywhere, infact sometimes dead bodies lie around on the road. God help us! A policeman shoots and kills someone for no reason and it's called accidental discharge!

-African time: Most Nigerians don't respect time. I remember my wedding service was supposed to be 12noon to 1pm, thank God for Daystar a church that keeps to time, my wedding was in a hall and I think most people thought it might not be a formal affair, well should i just say a lot of people missed the service because it only lasted an hour.

Your blog name suggests you like to write, are you a writer and what do you like to write?
Yes I love to write, I have always written and i always will. When i was a kid, my sister and I would write stories and swap them, i always kept a diary...always writing silly stuff in them. Then as the years went by, I kept a journal, detailing my life events. The first ever story I wrote was a true life thing that happened between myself and a couple of friends in Uni. Then I graduated and writing sort of took a back seat after I got a job. My last job had me pining for more and wanting to do more. With a lot of push and encouragement from my hubby, I started writing my first book which by God's grace i completed and am now looking to publish. So what do I write? I write articles, short stories, fiction, and recently screen plays. I am a writer at heart and will always be one! Chei, this was supposed to be a simple question, wasn't it?

You co-started a blog called "From the Hearts of Soul Sistas" with Aloted, what gave birth to this awesome project and how long will it last?
The Soul sistas blog started as a thought that wouldn't leave me or more like what i would call a God inspired thought. I had read a number of posts all over blogville and it occured to me that it won't be a bad idea to be able to share with other sisters some of the truths I know about relationships and being a woman. I think the thought became more grounded in my mind when I to leave my thoughts on chastity before marriage on someone's blog. I believe in staying pure till you get married...that is the bible way and that's how I live my life...(i digress) Who better to start it with, my great friend aloted, we share common goals and values and agree on most things. I spoke to her about it, she had been thinking the same thing and voila, the blog came to live! It is born out of a desire to be role models to ladies like us; single or married.
For now, we don't have a definite time frame for the blog to run. I believe we will do it as long as God wants us to and when the time is right, if He wants us to move on from there, we will know.

What is the major aim of the soul sistas blog?
The aim of the soul sistas blog as we stated on the blog is to to share our heart on issues ranging from soft to difficult issues that ladies might have. We seek to be role models to other sistas and hope our thoughts can be of help to a sista out there.

Are you meeting the need of the soul sistas blog?
I like to believe that we're meeting the need. We're not updating the blog as often as we'd like to. This is because we have a lot of other responsibilities and hope to be more committed to it. From the few posts we have been able to do though, the responses have been inspiring and we hope to be able to do more. We also leave room for people to send us emails on issues that they might like us to discuss. We have gotten a few and dealt with the issues

What is your thought about male child preference belief by some Nigerians?
I think preferring a gender to another is a backward thing. The bible says when God made man, male and female he created them. Every human is made to fulfill a divine purpose, male or female and therefore saying that one gender is less important than the other is a sin against God and humans. We coexist to bring Him glory. Can a man bring forth a child without a woman? No can a woman bring forth without a man? It is a symbiotic relationship and although we have different roles, both are equally significant and important.

The reason some people want male children is to carry on the family name but then, i wonder what the sense is behind this. Take it or leave it, once a human being is dead, he's dead and what if the male child chooses to even change his name as is not uncommon these days?
Children are a blessing from God, be it male or female and whichever one a family is given, they should count themselves blessed.

A lot of parents see children as their property and I suppose if theystart to see themselves merely as stewards who only have a role to play in their lives and not owners, it will start to matter less whether the child is male or female.
Lastly, i would reiterate that preferring a male child to a female one is a sin against God and humanity. Every child is a blessing from God, male or female.

The Male preference belief has destroy some homes while it has put some homes in fiancial jeopardy, why do you have to say about this belief?
As Africans, we tend to believe that the purpose of marrying a man or woman is mainly procreation, although it is one of the purposes, I do not believe it is the main one. This is why a family would prefer to bring forth a child into suffering than to wait till such a time as they can afford to bring one in or the reason a family who has children they cannot cater for will bring another one into it because they need a heir. Please tell me, what is the child inheriting? Poverty? You don't need a heir when you can't even take care of one.

If family means what it is to most people, then they will not allow their unit to be broken simply because they don't have a male child. Whoever is clamouring for a male child either husband or wife is not being sensible as this is not something one can control. You can pray to God for a desired sex, but you cannot ultimately decide. I'm not saying it's totally wrong to desire a male or female child because even common sense tells us variety is the spice of life but the well being of a family should not be jeopardised because a malechild is being clamoured for. If a man is unable to cater for the two, three or four girls he has and give them the best already, why bring into the world more children to suffer? how does he hope to cater for the male child when he comes? I see this as an injustice to the poor children. These are the people I jokingly call 'pikin miss road' sometimes

Do you think there will ever be an end to this belief?
I do hope there will be an end to this belief but if I will be realistic, I will say I don't think there will be a total end. It might reduce drastically with a lot of orientation but it will always be there. Even Jesus said 'the poor you will always have among you'. I take that to mean you will always have the spiritually, financially or mentally poor. A man or woman who thinks a male child is better than a female one is mentally poor!

Blogville is blessed with so many wonderful people, can you mention 5 bloggers that have touched your heart in different ways and brief describe them?
Oh wow...this is a tough one. There are so many bloggers I admire, so many who keep blessing my life everytime i turn their page. I might break your rule and mention more than five, let's see:

Aloted: We're friends. She's the coolest friend i have. She's the one who introduced me to blogging over three years ago and she's like my sister. I can share my heart with her on any issue and i know she's always there for me...and when i need a tip or two on professional things, i can always refer to her.

SSD: Her commitment to blogging amazes me. She has a husband and three children, has to keep a home, yet she still makes time out to update regularly. She must be a master at multitasking and i admire her for this. Oh and i love her kids' antics!

Jaycee: I love her and her writing. When I need a word in season from heaven, all i need do is go read her latest post. She's truly a blessing!

Vera: She's just hilarious and cracks me up anyday!

Standtall: Your commitment to the cause you believe in amazes me and I want to be like you when I grow

NoLimit: She just has a way of making you see God even in the most infinitesimal things…and she has a really cool personality!

GNG: She just has a sweet spirit. I haven't met her in person but every time I chat with her, I feel like I can tell her anything. Sometimes though I feel like wacking some sense into her when she's talking down at

Oh you said 5...but there are a lot of others. Temite: She has a way with words.
There's also Nefertiti. You can tell she's a strong woman with a strong personality but she has learnt to balance it in submission to her Mr. I also like Bumight…she sure is funny, what with her recent e-wedding to Doug. Oh God I could go on and on. Please lemme just mention a few more, LG, she cracks me up with her pidgin posts, Original Mgbeke, I love Funms for her new found commitment to God.
FBA: That one cracks me up. Ok I need to stop although there are a lot more others! Infact, I think I love the all bloggers! You touch my heart everytime I read your blogs and I learn one thing or the other everywhere I turn. Blogville, y’all rock!

Oh God, this is a set up, I feel like I could go on and on!

Thanks for your time and these wonderful insights Ms. Writefreak
Thank you for interviewing me Standtall, I feel like a celebrity


LG said...


Adaeze said...

Another great interview!
I'm happy to have read this interview so I could "get to know" Writefreak a little better and I love her personality. ANd how thrilled I am to hear she's mother to be. It's clear that she has very strong values and principles and care for others - I love that. It's so uplifting to hear when people feel for the less fortunate than them as opposed to just looking the other way. The 5 must change and must keep are SO dead on! And I also couldnt agree more on the male child issue. It's a phenomenon that SHOULD belong to the past. Writefreak thank you for being so inspirational and I pray you'll continued to stay blessed in every way possible. You're a woman of integrity. And Standtall thank you for the interview. Great questions.

aloted said...

Awww i love this post! and i am u know i totally heart u ore!

anyway i totally feel u on all your answers esp about parents being stewards and not owners of their children. We will be accountable to God one day for how we bring up our children.

@LG i beg put proper comment...which one be 1stttt...:P

@Standtall- make una well done o!

P.S ahn han Lagos is not that bad o...people have helped a lot with directions when i am lost..maybe it is cause I look so innocent ;-)

Anonymous said... I'm blushing and turning purple!!!
You hit the nail right on the head about kids and the "african" beliefs...
Soul sistas is a cool blog and I'm going to start reffering it to other shows you that with God all things are possible...even abstaining from SEX!!!
Yup I said it men!...Sue ME!
I love my Naija tew...and I believe change is at hand!!!
Brilliant interview...kudos to you Stand Tall...

Tigeress said...

Good job Standtall. These interviews always gives us an insight about our fellow bloggers.

Nice one! :)

Nefertiti said...

Aww... *blushing all shades of purple* I feel the same way about u tew, writefreak.

Good job, standtall. And thanks for stopping by.


Congrats on the win, Ms. Standtall! You absolutely deserve it!!!!

It was great to read Writefreak's interview. I have been reading the blog for a long time, but sometimes, it takes these interviews to learn even more about my favorite bloggers.

Her stance on the male-child preference in Nigerian culture is positive and I agree with it wholeheartedly. Keep doing what you do, babe!!!

Oh, and thanks for the shoutout by the way, lol! Time management no easy at all at all! =)

Buttercup said...

Writefreak, u r simply amazing! I really do admire u. U have such great values and beliefs and u r such a COOL person on top of that! I cant wait to read ur book..I pray it'll be a success.

Welldone once again Standtall and congrats on ur award!

BSNC said...

Congratulationssss on ur award

Anonymous said...

This was a great interview - great questions on your part, Standtall, and excellent answers, Writefreak (you are quite the eloquent responder!).

I really liked your answers to the 5 things to keep and 5 things to change about Nigeria.

Thanks for including me on the list of bloggers you like.

And a big congratulations to Standtall for her solid NBA wins! They were well deserved!!

Writefreak said...

LG...what's going on? I'm a celebrity and i don't even get a comment...only shouting bera leave real comment!

Adaeze: Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel good

aloted: i love you too! yes people can be nice in Lagos but for the most part, they give wrong directions even when they don't know the way! tell Lg o, ojoro cancelled!

NoLimit: You're a case. WHy you no turn green?? Yes SEX before marriage is a no no and with God's help it can be done...Naija for life!!!

Tigeress: what did you learn about me, huh?

Writefreak said...

Neffie....wat's it with you all turning purple when colours like yellow are

SD: So now you know more about me huh?

Bcup: Why, thank you, i'm touched! I totally love your blog dearie and if not for space, i would mention you all!

GNG: Thank you! But i really like you, don't you know? lol

poeticallytinted said...

Congrats Standy. Another great interview. Writefreak is such an articulate person.

Vera Ezimora said...

Awwwww. You go Write Freak! But come oh, just because you have also been interviewed by StandTall does not mean we're now on the same level ooo! I am still Madam Interviewee Vera. Please remember that. You've finished your book? Shucks!!! I'm jealous! How many words, babe? I'm still not done with mine, and I already have over 200, 000

I crack you up, huh? Awww! I've always known you have a thing 4 me. I notice the you've been looking @ me with corner corner eyes of love. I know now! Hehehe.

Mother-to-be ehn? Oooh, Write Freak has been doing the nasty! LOL. Congrats, babe! We musto do Blogville Naming Ceremony ooo!

Standtall, nice job as usual. After you, nobody else ooo

Kafo said...

great interview

thanks for highlighting the male child syndrome we have in nigeria

Favoured Girl said...

Great interview Writefreak! You are still my long-lost twin sister. I enjoyed reading your intelligent answers. And well done, Standtall for doing these interviews on Blogville.

The Activist said...

LOL, now everyone thinks Writefreak is pregnant. What if she is just saying she is just a mother to be in a futuristic manner? LOL

I am happy to discover I know Writefreak way back. I am darn happy!

Anonymous said...

So like I Loved the 5 things to keep and to save in Nigeria. Great Idea Standy and great answers Writefreak. You think I have a way with words, chei, my head is getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. What if it explodes from all these praise?
I heart you Writefreak, and I seriously wouldnt mind being just like you one day. XOXO to the billionth degree.
and Standy, YOU ARE DA BEST!

Original Mgbeke said...

Thank you WriteFreak. :-)
Great interview, I especially feel you on that whole gender preference in children. Like you said, that is SO backward and I'm amazed that in 2009 men are still talking about it. Carrying on the family name for what?
Like someone said unless your last name is Dangote or something genge i.e Obama biko kindly sharrap.

Good job Stand Tall.

Rebirth said...

i love u writefreak...... u inspire me everytime and i love the soulsistas blog...... keep writing.....
Standtall. great questions once again,.....

Writefreak said...

poetically tinted: I'm so articulate? Thank you so much!

Vera: Forget it Vera, i'm the reigning interviewee, your time don pass..meanwhile mother to be yes in the futuristic sense!

Kafo: thank you

Favoured girl: Yes o! My twinny! How did i miss out your blog in this post o? Don't mind me jare but i'm sure you know very well that i love you so much!

Standtall: Thanks for coming to my rescue and yes, it's great to find out...we go way back men!!!

Temite: My very own adopted sister, wait o, how many people have you adopted in blogville and vice versa? lol...i'm number one sa...i love you too babe, you make my head wanna sweell!

Original Mgbeke: Abi my sister, which name they wan preserve? Maybe Obama and Dangote, yes!

Funms: i love you right back! thanks a bunch

Adaeze said...

lol @ Standtall. Right after making my comment I realised that perhaps I had misunderstood :-P
well pregnant or mother to be in the future is great either way!

Jennifer A. said...

This was such a beautiful interview. I'm actually blessed to have met writefreak...she is an inspiration...can't wait to read that book actually! Wow.

Standtall, thank u so much for the congratulatory message...I haven't been on blogsville for a day and a half so lemme go and express my thanks on the awards blog! Yay!

Writefreak said...

Adaeze: Yup! Thanks a bunch!

Jaycee: actually think i'm an inspiration. I feel blessed.

Rita said...

The 5 (or 6) must keep things are so on point...

Writefreak, I love your intro (and all you believe in). Indeed you are an amazing person.

Standtall, welldone and plenty plenty congrats for the award.

Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Good to get to know Writefreak a little better. Love how you always find new ways to interview, and never ask generic questions.
Congratulations on your award!!!!

doug said...

Wow I thought I left a comment on this post when I read it on Friday.

First, its great to be mentioned, even if its in connection with an e-pregnancy. LOL

And I have a LOT of respect for bloggers like WriteFreak, Aloted and Jaycee. They believe in something lofty, and aren't shy of saying it out loud. Another great interview Standtall!

bumight said...

ok, Im blushing multicolor....writefreak finds me funny :) oh and my eyes jumped to "mother-to-be", i just feel that i should let you know that im still the "reigning" (whatever that means) mother-to-be on blogville! and yes, e-pregnancies do count!

The Activist said...

@ Writefreak: You are welcome AND to see discover we go way back is wonderful!

Geebee said...

Finally, Interview Thursday’s back (even though I’m dropping this comment on a Sunday). I’m glad to read Writefreak’s interview. I’ve always admired her style and the almost perfect nature of her life and marriage. Permit me to say if I was a girl, I’d want to be like you, Writefreak. lol. Your beliefs on the need to change certain things about us and our country and the fact that every human is made to fulfil a divine purpose sure sit well with me. I was impressed with this interview. Writefreak, saying you ‘feel like a celebrity’ sounds wrong. You ARE a celebrity.

My Passion, my focus, the change that I want to see in the world - is my propellent factor.

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