Cats on Tuesday- " I need a friend"

"I am alone, with no home with a man that will sooner get rid of me. Yes, I am crying out for adoption. Please rescue me. I need a home, I need a friend and I will be a good friend to you." from a lonely kitten

I would have loved to rescue this cat from where he is not being treated right but to drink milk once in a while from the man who believe he's doing the poor kitten a favour. I don't think he's a cat lover and unfortunately I have got my hands full. I plead for this cat to be rescued. If you are a cat lover and will not mind to have one to be your friend and make you happy, kindly let me know. Let's give a good home to this gorgeous!

The Future of Nigeria Child…

The was my view on the Deputy Governor of Lagos State, Ms. Adebisi Sosan's post to the Punch Newspaper. It was an addendum and I hope Punch got it.

The deputy governor of Lagos State government Ms. Adebisi Sosan made me proud. And and she convinced me that she is a working leader when I read her column on Viewpoint of Punch, Monday June 8, 2008 on page 96.

She spoke like a true leader she is and she was able to nail the problem that we have in raising focused, patriotic and diligent children that will take over the mantle of power in the future. God knows we need to resuscitate the voluntary organisations like girls guide, red cross and boys scout. We need to start all over again in the area of instilling the right positive values in the heart of the Nigerians children.

We need as a matter of urgency to let the parents know that it’s not acceptable for them to neglect their children while making ends meets. It’s all inclusive; the struggle for wealth as well as raising the kids in the right path. The only solution or only remedy that is tolerated will be “not to have them if you can be there for them”. This goes for father’s and mothers.

I wonder though if these will be enough in the long wrong if we don’t stop to tackle the real issue first. The real problem, that led to the lost of our values, the lost of our selfless service and the lost of our patriotism, the lost of believing in Nigeria as a nation.

It’s occurred to me over a period of a decade that we have declined in so many things as a nation. We all need reorientation at one point or the other because it’s so sad that the role models to look up to and emulate are fast going into extinction. Majority of our people clearly have corrupt mindsets born of years of corrupt leadership. It is still a system that people believe in enriching themselves and forgetting the purpose of true – transformational leadership.

The followers in so many instances are not fairing better in the sense that we all have our own corrupt practices that will make it difficult for a Nigerian child to grow up with deep positive values if we continue the way we are doing. It will be difficult for a Nigeria child in the long run to appreciate the fact that the parents are there for her while she was growing up if they fail to set good example for her.

I believe that the context of positive values include selfless service, respect for law and order, respect for human rights, accountability, diligent in labour and commitment to improving our country. There are lot of parents, teachers, guardians that have since thrown their values into the wind a long time ago. They are the ones that will lie while telling the children that it’s not good to do so, they will be the first to litter the street, and they will lead in smoking like chimney and drinking like fish in front of these children. So, what value are they growing up with? Do we forget how fast it is for children to emulate?

Changing of mindsets is a very important task in Nigeria. I remember talking to some people about the fact that Governor Fashola’s administration has succeeded in changing my mind about the fact that there is no hope for Nigeria and I was shocked to be informed that they will embezzle money nonetheless. I was enraged by this as I don’t understand why we have to delude our minds so much. That it’s so hard to appreciate good work without remembering that they are doing it to embezzle money. There had being leaders that achieved nothing and siphoned all our money. Here is a working governor that we need to support and wait till the end of his tenure to see if he will be chased by the EFCC or not.

What I am saying in essence is, we need to be focused, we need to start having the right mentality, we need to start changing our mindset and help raise the Nigerian children in a way that they will uphold positive values and have the right mentality about building Nigeria and not destroying it.

Reviving the “Schools” voluntary organizations by the state government will go a long way to help in shaping the future of the Nigeria children when the right people are given the power to coordinate those organizations. Lagos state government has the task to see to that.

Interview Thursday-"What struck me first about Chari was his charm" - Buttercup. "Sincerely, I really can't imagine being with anyone else" - Chari

They are the duo admired by all, run and maintains a blog as a friend and as a lover. They are the inseparable love of blogsville/blogsphere. They are the inspiration of true love and friendship. I present with joy in my heart our dearest Buttercup and Chari!

I like about Buttercup, her ability to be friendly and kind to everyone even as we all meet online, how do you do this?

BUTTERCUP: LOL. There's no 'way' I do this. It really just comes naturally. I treat people how I want to be treated and in most cases, the treatment gets reciprocated. :)

Does this say anything about Buttercup Personality?

BUTTERCUP: Yes, it does. Buttercup on blogville is Buttercup in reality..much more quiet and shy though..lol..

How does this personality add to your relationship with Chari?

BUTTERCUP: I think it makes it quite easy for him to relate to and talk to me about anything. I can't speak for him but I want to believe I'm very approachable and quite the listener too..lol..

Can you give insight into who Chari is?

BUTTERCUP: Hmm..where do I start? What struck me first about Chari was his charm. One can't help but respond and be drawn to him. He's very witty, intelligent, focused and driven. He just makes me want to do more. Chari has a way of making a person feel very much at ease; you won't realize when you start pouring out to him everything you thought was dead and buried. He's the sweetest guy I know, gosh..you really don't want me getting mushy here..lol. He makes me feel like the most beautiful and intelligent woman. He's very protective of those he holds dear. In summary, he's a very wonderful young man who has the brightest future I can see. :D

Chari, can you say a few things you admire about Buttercup?

CHARI: *sigh...I admire her ability to be trusting and understanding. Its something I admire and sometimes it scares as well as challenges me to have more faith in people despite my experiences [hello anyone? I grew in Lagos; Center for Mago-mago]

Your relationship is long distance, how are you both coping?

CHARI: Dang...like Brandy said..this long distance is killing...but hey each day is a struggle...Its hard most of the time, especially when you're an agony uncle to your friends who have petty fights with their bfs when all you wana do is just to have the pleasure of holding the one you and crave for. There are nights when I sleep fitfully cuz I feel I would sleep better with her warm body next to me. I get called a fool often, cuz unilag people can hardly phantom that you would want to stay committed to someone who's miles away. But, through it all we remain strong TOGETHER. We help each other up and encourage ourselves with a promise of a future together.

Can we expect this to lead to Marriage?

CHARI: Sincerely, I really can't imagine being with anyone else...so yeah God willing yeah...Free Aso Ebi for you, for asking...

Well, I am loving this relationship but I will like to ask an odd question, will it be easy for both of you to be back as friends if this doesn't work? Buttercup? Chari?

BUTTERCUP: I've thought about this often. I know it would be utterly difficult in the early stages. I might have to totally refrain from talking to and seeing him for months but I think it could be possible to go back to being just best friends..I'd just have to make sure he never tells me about any girl he's developing an interest in..lol!

CHARI: Would it? hmmn...I don't see any reason why not seeing as she was first my best friend before she became my lover. I can't deny that it would not hurt having her with someone else [the though itself gaan hurts] as far as we have come but I'd suck it in like a man.

Chari, you organised SBR 2008, what inspired you and are we looking forward to another one in 2009?

CHARI: LOL...Mehn...all props to Princesa ..cuz the truth is: I am more of a conceptualizing person and less of a planner so yeah...she did most if not all masef the planning...2009? who knows? maybe!

What can Buttercup say about the blogsville/blogpshere and it's people?

BUTTERCUP: Hmm don't get me started on this incredibly awesome place called blogville! I've come across the funniest, sweetest and most intelligent people here. I've read numerous posts that have made me smile, laugh and cry. I've learned so much from a lot of bloggers. I've even gotten spiritual help here too. I've read a lot of posts I can personally relate to and it feels very good knowing that I'm not alone in some particular situations. It feels like one huge family here..I can safely call it home. :)

Telling our own story - NNENNA OKORE - “OF EARTH... BARKS AND TOPOGRAPHY”

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Nnenna Okore Holds First Major Exhibition In Nigeria

Nnenna Okore, the talented and internationally acclaimed sculptor and installation artist, returns to Nigeria to hold her first major art exhibition beginning June 20^th, 4pm, at the Goethe Institut in Lagos. After a successful series of exhibitions at galleries in the US and the UK, the Assistant Professor of Art at North Park University, Chicago will bring her vibrant and constructive approach to sculptural and installation art to a keen Nigerian art audience. The exhibition will be opened by her former professor and mentor at the University of Nsukka and famed art sculptor in his own right El Anatsui.

Nnenna often uses materials found in urban environments. Her artworks reflect the way that natural and man-made materials evolve, decay and transform, while other pieces can take on the character and flowing shape of traditional woven cloths or elements of nature. She has received several awards and residencies worldwide, and has been exhibited in several prestigious galleries and museums including the Museum of Art and Design, New York and the October Gallery, London. The German Cultural center, the Goethe Institut are her hosts for this show presented by Kachifo Limited, publishers of Farafina Books. The show runs at the Goethe Institut from June 20^th until July 10^th. Learn more about this artist by logging on to www.nnennaokore.com, or by contacting the organisers at info@kachifo.com.

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Artist's Profile

Nnenna Okore is an Assistant Professor of Art at North Park University. She received her B.A degree in Painting from the University of Nigeria (First Class Honors) in 1999, and an M.A and M.F.A. in Sculpture from the University of Iowa in 2004 and 2005. She has received several awards and residencies worldwide, and been shown in numerous prestigious galleries and museums within and outside the United States. She currently has work on display at Sakshi Gallery, India. Her two solo outings will open in June and July at the Goethe Institut, Lagos, and the Chicago Cultural center, Chicago respectively. She will also exhibit in a year long exhibition, Trash Menagerie, curated by Janey Winchell at the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, MA. The show runs from June 20, 2009-June, 2010.

Artist Statement

Much of my inspiration stems from my childhood years at Nsukka, a small university town in south-eastern Nigeria. As a child, I was fascinated by the social, natural, and man-made conditions in rural dwellings around the University campus. Embedded within its landscape were evocative imageries captured within its rocky slopes, and architectural structures. I came across several stunning traditional art and architectural forms, such as, roofed shrines characterized by huge mounds of sand under a thatched structure, and yam barns and fences that traced the borders of people’s compounds. I was also drawn to simple sights of bare-footed children appropriating toys and hunting tools from scrap objects.

Other compelling views that appealed to my sensibilities were the carefully arranged wares borne on the heads of street peddlers, and household items in the market place lined up on the termite eaten tables and pews, plant tubers assembled in huge piles as well as sacks of grain stacked six to eight feet high and four to ten feet wide. Of course, the recycled cardboard boxes, newspapers and cement paper bags that served as insulation, bed padding, gift-wraps, mats, table coverings, and food wrappings within the market environment, were alluring to behold.

Of all the aspects of rural life that inspired me, the use of discarded objects and found materials in coping with poor economic conditions, had the most profound impact on me. It is reflected in the visual content and imagery of my works, which by virtue of these influences, celebrate the transformation of discarded materials into cultural objects, forms, and spaces, and bring a critical focus to bear on the consumption and recycling cultures in parts of Nigeria. My materials include newspapers, wax, cloth, rope, clay and sticks and I apply various repetitive and labor-intensive techniques, like weaving, twisting, sewing, dyeing, waxing and rolling, which were learned by watching villagers perform everyday tasks. These processes accentuate colors, textures and other visceral qualities of my sculptures.

Currently, I am invested in forms that explore, or are inspired by intimate spaces, shelters, architectural and natural environments, and ideas related to textures, colors, qualities and social values associated with African fabrics, using multiples and repetitive processes.

Recent Exhibitions
Chance Encounters, Group show, (curated by Bisi Silva, CCA, Lagos, Nigeria), Sakshi Gallery, India, April 2009.
Transvangarde, October Gallery, London. 22 April - 16 May, 2009

Upcoming Exhibitions
Of Earth....Barks and Topography, Goethe Institut, Lagos, Nigeria, June 2009.
Trash Menagerie, Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, MA, June 20, 2009-June 2010.
Twisted Ambience, Chicago Cultural Center, Chicago, July 11-October 04, 2009.
Paper to Pulp, HC Center for the Arts, Ellicott City, MD, July 2009.
Inaugural Show, Bekris gallery, CA, October, 2009.
Solo Show, NEIU Art Gallery, Northerastern Illinois University, February, 2010.
Solo Show, Bekris Gallery, San Francisco, CA, April-May, 2010.
Solo Show, Noyes Art Center, Evanston, September, 2010.

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For more information about Nnenna Okore, go to www.nnennaokore.com or contact Kachifo Limited on 0802-086-3673

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Interview Thursday:"Is not the State right to tell citizens how to dress and is a blatant violation of individual and collective human rights"- Sokari

Sokari is the outstanding and legendary publisher at Black Looks blog. She is a Nigerian blogger that has being blogging since 2004 before I even know what blogging is all about.

She was part of a group of bloggers who connected the world leaders at the G20 summit in London to the rest of the world. She is an activist of note that fights and defend human rights in all sphere of life.

It was a great pleasure for me to have met her at the Info-activism Camp in Bangalore India, where we became friends. She share with us her view on Niger Delta crisis, the resuscitation of the indence bill proposition and LGTBI rights.....

What is your view about Niger Delta crisis?

It is an act of war by the Nigerian "military" government against the Nigerian people. This attack is the latest in a series of systematic attacks against Nigerians of the Niger Delta which has been on going for the past 20 years from Babaginda, Abacha, Obasanjo and now this pathetic individual who calls himself President when in fact he was never even elected - unless you call rigging an election a legal process. What is unfortunate is the failure by the weak Niger Delta states leadership - Senators, representatives, governors, traditional rulers - to come out and condemn these acts of violence against ordinary people and their land and property. The other unfortunate aspect of this is the focus on MEND and other militants by the Nigerian media and public. This focus is what the Nigerian government want people to do instead of focusing on the brutality of a government attacking its own people over and over again. As for the militants they themselves represent a step in a long process of resistance and struggle which due to the violence of the Nigerian state has now led to the growth of the militant movement. Personally I believe that resistance and struggle should be a non-violent process - the militarisation of the issue of the ND is not the answer.

Do you think the government has done enough to end the crisis and bring about peace?

No, the Government and their puppets (see above) are the ones causing the crisis. People want schools, hospitals, roads, electricity - whether in the ND or elsewhere. People know that it is the oil from their land that has fed the country for 50 years - built Lagos, built Abuja - but they have received nothing. The ND leaders are also guilty of corruption and betraying the people - always ready to be bought off by the Federal government.

Do you think the militants are representing the people of Niger Delta or are they fighting for their own personal gain?

Yes, I do think the militants represent the ordinary people of the ND. Where they fail is they do not appear to have any idea of what they would do if they did have control of the region. How would they govern? What is their endgame? They do not appear to have a political wing which has some idea of what kind of social, political and economic organisation they would put in place. This is not the way to conduct a struggle.

What do you feel will help in resolving the Niger Delta crisis?

The struggle in the ND is applicable to all Nigerians. We are all affected and involved in one way or the other. It is not a question of ethnicity but of governance ie corruption, mismanagement but most of all GREED! If all Nigerians collectively chose to protest against all of these and refused to accept thieving leaders then the ND issue would be solved because then the region and the rest of the country would be developed as it should have been. there is no economic reason for Nigeria to be poor and to lack decent roads, hospitals, schools, electricity and water - no need at all.

As a human rights and feminist Activist, do you think the Nigeria government is reasonable about the denial of the existence of gays and lesbians in Nigeria?

No, I think they are ridiculous along with the religious hypocrites of all types. Everyone knows LGBT people exist and have always been part of Nigeria since time. Nigeria is no different from anywhere else. They can deny all they want but that will not change the fact that LGBT not only exist but exist amongst the government itself!

Is it a wrong thing for any individual to have sexual preference and do you think LGBQT are western ideas?

No, I dont, it is not wrong for two consenting adults to love each other and want to build a life together. It is not the end of the human race because not everyone is LGBT and never will be. I have heard men condemn sodomy between men - yet these same men commit sodomy with their wives! There is so much hypocrisy amongst Nigerians and the continent especially amongst religious people. In fact the more religious the more intolerant and less accepting of difference amongst people. These people are quite happy to take up a Western religion and worship god who is white with blond hair and then have the audacity to say that LGBT is unAfrican. How unAfrican are blond men?

Senator Ekaete is bringing forth the bill of indecent dressing in Nigeria, how do you think this will affect the fundamental human rights of the people?

Again this is borne out of a culture of religious intolerance and repression. The state, is not there to tell citizens how to dress and is a blatant violation of our individual and collective human rights. Who are they to dictate what is decent or not. Even if one goes back to tradition and 200 years ago - how many traditional atires dressed women in short wrapper and even are bare breasts or men with bare chests and arms? Rather than focus on these kind of repressive dictates rather they should be putting all their efforts into ending the real disgusting behaviour known as corruption and greed. People want to tell me how to dress yet they cannot even provide a decent clinic or electricity because they are busy stealing money - how stupid and ignorant is that?

What do you advise the concerns Nigerians to do in order to stop the passing of indecent dressing bill?

Petition the Senate - attend the sessions and present the case against it. Refuse to adhere to the dress codes - can they arrest everyone? No they cannot. What did the Black people in the southern US do when they were refused access to certain eating places etc. They refused! What is wrong that we cannot mobilize a campaign against this! So what we must all start walking about in long gowns covered from neck to our feet, because once they start they will not stop believe me - I cannot see people agreeing to this kind of nonsense.

With the 10 years of democracy in Nigeria, I am yet to see any great impact it has made, do you share this view with me, if yes, how can we improve in Nigeria?

Yes you are right. Democracy in Nigeria is a lie. We are no more democratic today than 20 years ago. In fact I still believe we live under a military government since it seems our leaders come from that group directly or indirectly and have the same mindset. Does anyone seriously believe Yar'Adua is running Nigeria. (I refuse to call him president because he was not elected. No one in my village had the opportunity to vote as the polling booth never opened and that was repeated in many places) I think I have answered this above but ultimately Standtall, it is the responsibility of Nigerian citizens to bring change. It will not come from the leadeship but from ordinary people and civil society.

Who is your role model and why is this person considered your role model?

To be honest I don't have an individual role model as such. What I do aspire to and the people I celebrate and honour are those human rights activists who have often put themselves literally in the line of fire and make a stand for what they believe in. Writers, poets and artists who use their creative talents to challenge injustice. They are everywhere and many are ordinary people whose names we may never know. These people are my role models, heroines and heroes. In Nigeria women such as Hauwa Ibrahim, Margaret Ekpo, Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti and of course Fela. Ken Saro-Wiwa and Adaka Boro {Ijaw activist of the 60s). My dear friend Victor Mukasa a human rights defender and LGBTI activist from Uganda, writers such as Aminata Sow and Mariama Ba of Senegal; Another good friend, South African lesbian activist and photograher, Zanele Muholi; The late great Sembene `Ousman - film maker and activist; young people who are free - free because they respect and honour their mothers through history and have the strenth to stand up against intolerance and ignorance like Dominican and South African rapper & poet - PlanBe; and finally ALL MY SONS are my heros too!

Cats on Tuesday: Celebrating the Award!

My cats are now certified International Bloggers when they received an award that can be compared to Nobel and Pulitzer Prize from one and only Graham Kracker on June 14^th, 2009. Thank you Graham Kracker and his wonderful cats for remembering us and passing on this award to us.

And really, my cats deserve this award because of their role in making us have a stress-free painting day in the house on Sunday. The threesome namely Scofield, Smallville and Garfield went to hibernate at the back of our house on top of a roof. They were there for hours, I was even afraid they were not going to come back. But they did and had thorough/enduring bath afterwards.

                                                                     Garfield

I should have captured their rooftop moment and ask Standtall husband to help me take some pictures while we were all struggling it out in the bathroom. It was more enduring for me to have them clean and shining!

                                          Smallville chilling on top of our printer

Here goes the 7 I am sharing this award with:

1. PoeticallyTinted – in the memory of our full of life Stiggy whose life ended on June 3^rd, 2009. Rest in peace dear Stiggy we do miss you.
2. Black Cat: Thanks for sharing your passion for cats
3. Gattina- the Intiator of Cats on Tuesday with gorgeous cats.
4. Katztales- who took spanking of my cats serious because she cares so much about our feline friends.
5. Ezra Olubi – who is so crazy about his Michelle [female cat] and Henry [male cat]- both offspring of my run away Molly and kingly Scofield.
6. It’s all good: for always displaying beautiful images of those feline angels.
7. Criz Cats- they are so delighted to see and be friends with.

                                        Scofield chilling inside the litter box - dirty boy!

And here are the rules:

Link to the person who passed you this prize.
Display the badge, the rules and the questionnaire in all or one of your blogs
Publish the date when the award had passed to you.
Answer four questions following this :
1. The person who tagged you:
2. His/her site's title and url:
3. Date when you were tagged:
4. Persons you tagged:

List at least seven (7) friends in its list of blogs.
Come back to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List.

" I know a woman gives up a lot for the sake of her marriage, but I would often wonder if I'd given up much more than I was required" - FFF

She is fabulously fantastic, a flourishing writer and blogger; I was more than happy to share with Flourishing Florida now known as Free Flowing Florida {FFF}. A proud owner of 2 fantastic blogs, join me in this powerful moment with FFF.

Can we meet FFF?

Guess this is where i describe myself, which I have to say, I’m pretty bad at. But, here it goes. I'm young, vibrant, ambitious, a dreamer, extremely emotional yet hard as nail & a lover of everything beautiful. It's funny about the young part, cos I still have to remind myself that i'm a grown ass woman now. LOL. Truth is, I still very much feel like a kid. I can envision myself, pregnant & fretting, ‘Help, I’m still a baby! How the hell did I wind up giving birth to another baby!’

Mention 5 things you value most.My family. Although some of them would probably say I’ve a funny way of showing it, as I haven't spoken to my dad & my immediate younger brother since last December. But i worry about every one of them all the time, and they are always on my mind. But, I’m doing a better job of showing emotions with my husband. & I know am going to be one of those mothers that will cross seven seas & seven oceans for her kids. But, if they mess up, bulala straight.

My freedom. This was so important to me, that it was the singular factor i looked for in deciding who to marry. If i felt a dude would restrict me, he was OUT.

Honesty – well, it’s not like I tell the truth all the time oh. LOL. But, I try sha. However, too many people hide themselves, & for what I don’t understand. We are not in a contest for goodness. There is no medal, except that you’ve created in your head. So, why not be honest. Own up to who or what you are. If you are good, great. If you are not, work at it & be an inspiration to the rest of us who are doing same. I’ve a big oh problem with pretentious people, I do.

Work! I live to work, am afraid. I'm not very domesticated, so i identify myself through work. It's a good thing I’m pretty good at it too. Still, I’ve a five years plan to quit paid employment, & set up a farm (with MM). The whole idea is to enable me keep a closer eye on the kids when they are at their most formative age. I'd still be working, just not for someone else.

Writing: I have been writing since I was little, six years old I think. I have stories swirling my head all the time. Seriously, all the time! If I don’t get some of them out by putting them in writing, I feel like a part of me has been cut off.
You first personal blog started out with your day to day activities and now you write stories through it, is this what we should expect from now on?

Oh yes. Ruffin It is going to be mainly about stories. A bit of my personal life will be told of course, just to personalize it & share with other bloggers on the going-ons in my life.

You now run a second blog, can you explain the need for 2 blogs?

Well, sometimes when you want to create something, you may need a different medium to do so. Ruffin It is a now a Series blog, a blog that told fictional stories. Bambina was going an entirely different route – real life stories/experiences, & several contributors. Basically, I didn’t want to ‘own’ Bambina. I wanted it to be a blog where anyone and everyone could ‘own’. So, you see, those two couldn’t mix well. Besides, I wanted each to have its own niche, catering to different needs. I hope I make sense.

I have read a lot about Ejike story on your blog and it makes me feel you are a good writer, can you tell us more about your writing journey?

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I was a shy child, you see. I’m still a bit shy now, LOL. So anyways, I was so shy. & my family didn’t encourage free expression. My dad liked us to be proper. My sister naturally fit in to, I didn’t. When you combine my discomfort with expressing myself with strangers and being hushed for speaking with my family, what you get is the desire to self-express using writing. When I wrote in my younger years, I did so strictly for my own enjoyment. Then, I discovered the joy of having someone else enjoy what I write, & I pursued it. Finally, I realized that one does get paid for writing, so that’s what am all after now. To be paid good money too.

Will you like to publish a book or a lot of books someday?

No, I haven’t published a book before. But I have about 4 or 5 short stories featured in newspapers and online sources. My husband keeps asking me why I haven’t published yet, and frankly I’m scared. I fear my writing wouldn’t be good enough – cos I have read lots & lots of writers that floor me on anyday. Actually, what I fear the most is the publicity part of writing. That’s where the shy child in me keeps hindering me. I’m self-protective, not wanting to let too many people close. It’s as though that publicity would over-expose me to strangers. I guess, when I conquer that, then I’d really be ready to publish.

What does FFF do beside writing, blogging and loving?

Watching TV/movies. I’m an addict! Reading – novels, magazines or just about anything that catches my interest. Day-dreaming. I don’t quite enjoy cooking or cleaning, but when I have to, I really throw myself into it.                                 Image from FFF Album

"My husband can't cook if my life depended on it. But yesterday, it did!!!!!!!" was your twitter message, do you care to share what happened?

Oh lord! He’s going to kill me for this. Ok, what happened is that on the fateful day, there wasn’t food in the house. As in, at all. It was the beginning of the new month, & we were planning to shop for food that day. However, I fell ill. I was weak & depressed. The only thing I was thinking about was getting well. & that I was hungry. My husband doesn’t know how to cook, & he is least interested in learning. So, he just planted himself in front of the laptop, occasionally asking me how I was doing. I was hungry, angry & sick, how did he think I would be doing? When he suggested he brought together things for me to drink garri with, I was livid. I just went into the kitchen & heated some packets of Indomie, enough for both of us. And he ate! He ate! I don’t think I said more than ten words to him for the rest of the day. LOL. The next day, even though I wasn’t entirely ok, I made myself get to the market, shopped & then cooked. But, it’s got better. I’ve been on bed-rest for a while now, so he’d had to take his butt to the kitchen. But I make the decision on what is to be eaten, & coax/coach him into warming the food without burning it. Because left to him, we’d be drinking garri & Cerelac, than go through all that trouble.

What will you say about parents making boy child learn how to cook and do other chores in the house?

My sons must cook. Let me repeat it: MY SONS MUST COOK. My MIL just spoilt her sons. None of them cook! MM even takes pride in that. I will excuse him a bit sha, cos in the East, it’s the practice for most family with girls to utterly leave all kitchen duties to the girls. My mom did that with hers too. I have three brothers, only one of them can cook. The other two couldn’t care less. They would rather eat out. My dad cooks though, but it turned out being a negative in my parents’ marriage. Because, every time him & my mom had issues, he’d take up cooking for himself. My mom hated that, so maybe that’s her reason for keeping her sons from the kitchen. Total BS, I say. Too many mothers I know spoil their sons, & they look 4 excuses to make themselves feel better.

Is there any other way, your husband compliment your effort at home?

MM is pretty handy in the house, I must give that to him. Like I said, I’m not very domesticated. House-chores are CHORES. If I can avoid doing them, I would. He makes it easier for me. He cleans, sweeps, dish-washes & dusts. Of course, he messes up the house but he knows how to clean up after himself. Laundry is practically his job. It’s a good thing we live alone; else someone might think I’d turned him into a houseboy.

You were formerly in Abuja and now Lagos, how is life in Lagos so far?

The things we do for love! Before meeting MM, I couldn’t stay in lagos longer than a weekend without wanting to run back to Abuja. When we met, the hope was that he’d get transferred to Abuja, since he used to live there. Up until October, we were still hoping. That’s when his office told him straight up that they weren’t sending him anywhere, clashing our hope. Our wedding was 2 month away, there was nothing we could do but start planning for me to relocate. Our courtship had been long-distance, and we didn’t think it wise to make the marriage long-distance as well, cos a lot of things you get to know about your spouse you can only do so by living with them. & we wanted to know ourselves, through and through. However, moving down here was the hardest thing I could have done. I resigned from a good paying job, gave most of my stuff away, & all my savings went into our marriage. I was in a city I hated, doing a job that was driving me insane, & I was broke. January to March was a pretty tough time in our marriage cos I was whining a lot. I’ve to confess, am not a very pleasant person to live with when I’m unhappy. And I was really unhappy. I know a woman gives up a lot for the sake of her marriage, but I would often wonder if I’d given up much more than I was required. I quit the job last month & things are better. Now, we have to rely on only one income, but it’s all good. Until I start a new job, we’re cutting cost. Plus now that I don’t have to deal with the maddening Lagos traffic, I’m a much happier person. People drive like crazy folks here, mehn! Also, electricity is better at our new apartment than at FESTAC, so at least I worry less about the things in the fridge spoiling.

What is your hope for a new Lagos?

I wish an El-Rufia would come to Lagos. I was in Abuja in 2001, for the first time. I see the difference that man made to the city. I believe that’s what Lagos needs – someone to come change the way they do things here. Maybe it’d be harder, & will definitely take more than 4 years of Fayose’s rule. Maybe even 8 years, cos Lagos is a good example of what several years of bad habits can do to a city. I think the worst attitude I find with those who are so used to Lagos ways, is that they are proud of their bad behaviours! They see it as being street-smart! That just kills me. Still, the governor is setting precedence – that’s highly commendable. If whoever comes after him will keep up with the good job, get people to clean up their individual acts & the understanding of what’s acceptable (behavioral change message no be only for HIV oh), then indeed there is hope. Anything else na just white-wash!