Saturday, January 8, 2011

Blaming Women for men's Abuse of Power

I was at a 2 -day voters education workshop. Organized by Centre for Human Development (CHD) to especially sensitize the grassroots women to their voting rights and to encourage them to register and vote for many of the credible women vying for one post or the other. Among the funders of this event was the UNDP with their belief in the National Gender Policy and affirmative action of 35% political posts at all levels of governance for women.

In many of the discussions at this workshop, I could still see why many efforts of women's organizations and activities do not have very effective and positive results. The main killer of these numerous efforts are the perceptions and mindsets of the people. What struck me as very backward and unbelievable is the belief among some men and some women at the event that 'women are responsible for men's corruption and abuse of power because ones they touch the men's heads during fun time, they are able to convince them', seriously? Very soon, women will be responsible fully (since that is the case in many quarters anyways) for being raped, for domestic violence, for patriarchy, for all the chaos and violence and for the failures of many leaders especially in Africa to transfer power.

I wonder why anyone would fail to see the intoxication of absolute power in action. The lack of proper structure and system that will be diffcult to abuse in place. Many developed countries are able to put corruption under check and they have women in their countries who have fun with their men. So, why are women now the culprit in a system where it is clear to the glaring eyes that women are victims of? Many women are so poor they can't afford to go to school or send their children to one, many cannot afford good medical care and yet many cannot afford three square meals not to talk of having any decent shelter. What on earth is wrong with us? Why do we always let go of men when they have to face up to their failure and take responsibilities for their actions? Many of these men believe in God yet they are plundering their countries, oppressing and cheating their people, yet we are still giving them excuses by blaming others for their errors!

If this is our foremost thinking in this 21st century, then, women's rights are far from being recognised and many of our failed leaders like Gbagbo would still be able to do more harms than good and many people will still be taking wrong approaches to wrong issues. As I was pondering on how we can effectively correct wrong mindsets in our society, one of the participants received a call. Her sister, who is a political aspirant was murdered right in front of their mother in their home in Edo state. Then, I wondered, where is the hope that things will change for the better?


histreasure said...

that is the reality of the whole world..i mean, everything is a woman's fault. hubby used to say, 'when you say no to a relative's demand, they say it is the wife that caused it, if you say yes and give them , they never remember to even say thank you to the wife'..

it is the same situation everywhere and in all situation.
my sympathies to the woman whose sister was killed, that's naija politics for's sooooo sad!!!!

SHE said...

That's such a backward belief! and if by some very slim chance it is true, then the men should be thoroughly ashamed to say it!

Dee! said...

Hmmm! That is just the situation we find ourselves in. When we talk, we are called all sorts... However, i strongly believe that things would change one day!

I have just tagged you as a recipient for two awards. Visit my blog for details.

Emeka Amakeze said...

Sex workers would be ruling the world if it were true that women convince men to engage in corruption and abuse of power by touching their head during fun time. Accepting responsibility for our actions and inaction is a sure way of achieving success and sustain the protection of our women and children.

Lara said...

The reality of the world and I would not be surprised if the motion was started by a woman...we women allow the society/culture to dictate to us...we have to fight this our ignorance...we can never move forward if we continue to believe all this dumb theories

Ibhade {NG} said...

Ha! so true oo! If the man break leg sef, na the woman fault!..tnx for stopping appreciate.

My Passion, my focus, the change that I want to see in the world - is my propellent factor.

Label Cloud

Gender (72) Feminism (46) Interview Thursday (46) Gender Equality (38) Gender and Development (29) Cat lover (24) Poem (24) Cat Tuesday (22) Women's Human Rights (19) Cats World (16) 16 Days of Activism (11) Africa (11) Violence Against Women (8) Information Sharing (7) Music (7) Nigeria Development (7) Women and Leadership (7) Children Rights (6) Exprience (6) Leadership (6) Rest in Peace (6) Change and Development (5) Corruption (5) Day to Day Exprience (5) Events (5) Governance (5) MDGs (5) Peace and Security Fellowship for African Women (5) Relationship (5) Security and Development (5) Women (5) Call for Application (4) Change Maker (4) Dairy (4) Mistake (4) Navy abuse of Uzoma Okere (4) Nigeria in Focus (4) Relationship and Marriage (4) The Feminist Cats (4) BlogHer (3) Chicago July Trip (3) Children (3) Discrimination Against Women (3) Domestic Violence (3) Injustice (3) King;s College Fellowship (3) Lessons (3) Niger Delta Crisis (3) Online Community (3) Religion Matters (3) Travelling (3) Wedding (3) Women Activists (3) Women Empowerment (3) Women in Governance (3) Youth (3) democracy in Nigeria (3) 2009 Edition (2) A girl-Soldier (2) Activism (2) Annivesary (2) BlogHer Conference Scholarship (2) Bloggers for life (2) Democracy and its Struggle (2) Female writers (2) Forced Marriage (2) IAC09 (2) ICT4D (2) International Wome's Rights Day 2008 (2) Journey to London (2) LGBTI (2) Lack of respect for other people's perspectives. (2) Life from Cape Town in South Africa (2) Lovely Cats (2) Male Child Preference (2) Male Child and Domestic Chores (2) Memories (2) My Boss (2) My life in London (2) Nigerian Youth and Development (2) Nigerianstalk (2) No to VAW (2) Rape (2) Sexual Violence and GBV (2) Taking Peace and Security (2) Technology Camp for Girls (2) The Admired Female Bloggers (2) The Changemakers (2) The Future of Nigerian children (2) The Late Kudirat Abiola's Remembrance (2) The Martyr of Democracy (2) The girl child and her chanllenges (2) Untimely death (2) Uzoma Okere court hearing (2) V-Monologues (2) Violation of Human Rights (2) Women making a difference (2) 10 years remembrance for the O.A.U 5. (1) 1in 9 Campaign (1) 2010 self-surfacing resolutions (1) A Ride with my Father (1) A just world with God (1) ALF Program (1) AWID Forum 2008 (1) Activism Scholarship (1) Adaeze Experience (1) African Sexualities (1) Aspiring Filmmaker (1) Bad Leaders (1) Beating by a mad man (1) Becoming my Cats (1) CSDG (1) Career (1) Child Marriage (1) Children without education (1) Children without future (1) Climate Change (1) Conflicts (1) Corrpution and Hooliganism (1) Court System (1) DLTW for Young Female Doctors (1) Democracy Day (1) Divorce and Marriage (1) Dupe In Kenya (1) ECOSAP (1) Evangelist Taye Ajiboye (1) Extreme poverty (1) Female Circumcision (1) Female Film-Makers (1) Girls in Technology (1) Global Warming (1) Government (1) Hafsat Abiola and KIND (1) Human Behaviour and attitudes (1) I didn't do it for you by Michela Wrong (1) ICT and Women (1) Images from Mali (1) Incest (1) Indecent Dressing Bill (1) Info -Activism (1) Internattional Bloggers Community Award (1) Job Search (1) Journey across Africa (1) June 8 and Abacha’s death (1) Kenya July Trip (1) Knowing our continent (1) Lagos State Government (1) MOBILIZATION (1) Mali (1) Marriage (1) Michela Wrong book on Eritrea (1) Mother 6th Remembrance (1) Movement Building. AWID Forum 2008 (1) My first post from London (1) My health (1) NDQ Interview (1) Naija Blogger Awards 2009 (1) Natural Hair (1) Negative quotation on women (1) Newspaper review (1) Nigeria Media (1) Nigerian Sporting Activities (1) Nigerians and Abacha’s death (1) No light (1) No to FGM (1) Obama Prank (1) Outsanding Ore (1) PHCN and Nigeria Government (1) Passing though Ghana (1) Passing through Burkina Security and Development (1) Pastor Kehinde Ajiboye (1) Peace and Secuirty issues in the Horn (1) Police Force (1) Polygamist (1) Pregnancy and child bearing in marriage (1) Punishment of an elderly woman in Saudi (1) Rape Victim (1) Road and Bus Evangelism (1) Road trip to Mali (1) SOLIDARITY WTH WOMEN WHO SPEAK OUT (1) Self Defence for Women (1) Senseless killing by armed robbers (1) Serious Issues (1) Standtall Adevnture (1) Suicide bombing (1) Summit (1) Tactical Tech (1) Take Back the Tech (1) Tell Magazine (1) Terrorist Attack (1) The Uncoventional Clergy woman (1) The Bauchi Killings (1) The EU Summit Report (1) The Eritrea history (1) The July 10 Martyr (1) The Liberian Women peace building effort (1) The O.A.U 5 (1) The PM Tabloid (1) The danger of a single story (1) The late social Crusader (1) The meeting with London Bloggers (1) The rescued kitten (1) This Violence must stop (1) Tips to having a Happy Relationship (1) Traditional Role (1) Transforming Nigeria (1) Travelling through Africa by Road (1) Tribute to Chief Gani Fawehinmi (1) Tyranny (1) Umar Mutallab (1) Understanding Security (1) Uzoma's Justice (1) Verastically Vera (1) WORLD AIDS DAY (1) We need peace in our land (1) Women E-Campaigners` Training (1) Women In Technology. ICT4D (1) Wrong Culture and Belief (1) Yar'adua (1) Youth as agents of Change (1) meeting US bloggers (1) my love (1)