Interview Thursday: Chatting with my Boss

My warm-hearted, good looking, resourceful, intelligent and wonderful boss had a chat with me.

I intend for this to be the beginning of my Thursday interview series. Expect more….

I have a very wonderful boss and I was so glad that she could honor this interview. Thank you Ore. You are the best.

Standtall: You have being blogging since 2005; can you share your "blogging" experience with us? How has the journey being till date?

Ore: It's been great, though the frequency and nature of my posts have changed over time. Initially, I post very frequently. The relative anonymity I enjoyed also gave me more freedom to write whatever I wanted. Now, I feel more constrained by the fact that many people know who I am and as a result am more careful about what I write. However, I love to write and am happy to have one more outlet for my writing.

Standtall: What advantage do you think a blog has over a website?

Ore: A blog is much easier to update than a website. I have both blogs and a website and find that I update the blog far more frequently than I do the website. The blog also enables people to give comments and feedback more easily.

Standtall: Do you think everybody should blog or own a blog?

Ore: No, I don't think a blog is for everyone. It's most interesting if you have something to say. Also, it's important that you have the time to write in your blog frequently. Bloggers also need to be willing to share their viewpoints with the world.

Standtall: As my boss, I have seen you as a warm, accepting, open-to-ideas, encouraging, purposeful and professional kind of individual. How did you build this personality?

Ore: LOL!!!! Well, thank you very much. I feel honoured to hear this about myself, as I think that I can be VERY impatient. I am, however, very interested in hearing what people think and learning from other people. Over the years, I have learnt to curb my impatience. This took a lot of practice though and I think I am still a work in progress. Similarly, with all the other traits you mentioned, I work on these everyday, though some come more naturally to me than others. It's important that I exhibit many of the traits that I like and admire in others.

Standtall: Is there any weakness or weak side of your personality like getting angry (I am yet to see that though), is there anything you wish to change or correct about you?

Ore: My impatience! I want things done yesterday. I feel that with sufficient discipline, one should be able to do anything as a result, I tend to demand a lot of myself (and of others).

Standtall: Should there be any rule a leader should follow or adapt to, to be a successful leader?

Ore: Yes, so many, but ultimately a ruler should be more concerned about doing things for the good of their followers, stakeholders or constituency than for themselves.

Standtall: What is your opinion about the current state of things regarding Obama Campaign (or is it Mobilization) Dinner held recently in Lagos under the auspices of Ndidi Okereke's group?

Ore: It seemed to me to be rather fuzzy about what she intended to achieve with the dinner; initially it appeared that the money was to go to the Obama campaign. Since US laws do not allow that, it appears now that the money is to go towards mobilization of Nigerian-Americans to vote for Obama. It seems so typical of Nigerians that we should be more concerned about things going on in other countries than problems that need tackling in our own backyard. That fundraising expertise could have been better put to use to address Nigerian issues.

Standtall: You have being working a lot with women and girls, I will like you to share with us your experience in empowering them through ICT?

Ore: It's been a good experience so far, but there's still so much to be done. First of all, many people do not acknowledge the importance of women and girls being more engaged with information and communication technologies. The fact that half the population is under-represented in the use, management and development of ICTs is cause for concern. We have been able to empower some women through our programs, but this is such a small drop in the bucket and highlights the need to work more strategically, e.g. through alliances with organisations or groups working in this area.

Standtall: Of what truth is the saying that women are their own problems?

Ore: People are people. I don't like to generalize. Some women are backbiting and catty; many are not.

Standtall: Do you see a better future for the female generation in Nigeria?

Ore: Yes, I do. While patriarchy reigns and I think will in Nigeria for many years to come, there is a growing awareness that women are entitled to the same opportunities as men - though sometimes is feels like this knowledge is more in 'theory' than in 'reality.' I know many people who feel that anyone in support of women's rights is flogging a dead horse, but the preponderance of gender roles that still exist in our society show that women are not as free as many would like to believe. This problem has existed from time; I am currently reading 'A Room of One's Own' by Virginia Woolf, in which she makes the argument that men need to think of women as weak in order to feel better about themselves (a generalization of course, as I'd like to think that this does not apply to all men). And honestly, I feel that in Nigeria for women to free themselves from gender-based discrimination, we need to emphasise men and women working together.

Standtall: On a personal note, I have noticed that you hold your smile a lot even when you are taking pictures. Does this come naturally for you or did you work on yourself?

Ore: No, that was something that I've worked on over the years. I tend to look very serious when I'm not smiling.

Standtall: Any final word before our chat comes to an end?
Ore: Thank you for the honour and for showcasing me on your blog.

Standtall: The pleasure is mine. I am grateful to you for sharing with blogville (blogsphere).

Ore: You are welcome

                                        
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The much awaited Summer Bloggers Reunion (SBR) comes up on the 13th of Sept, 2008 at Lekki Beach. Click here for details.

UPDATE:

Remember the story of a man with 86 wives and 170 children I shared on my blog? The update on it is that some Islamic Scholars in Nigera are now on his case. They asked him to pick 4 wives out of the 86 or risk going to jail!!! So, how many children is he allowed to pick out of the 170? I wonder. Read more here

JUST IN ONE WORD

Why do I allow the mistakes of the past to hunt me?

Those mistakes made in good faith

The ones made while trusting so blindly

The one yet made for the love of adventure

The mistakes that came to be because of error in judgement

Did I really make those mistakes?

It must be the other part of me that is long gone

It can’t be me sitting here

It couldn’t have been this reasonable, articulate, objective, charismatic me

But it could have been me

Had those errors, mistakes not being part of your integrity building?

Have they not been able to help you be better in life?

Have they not being a blessing in disguise come to think of it?

Just in one word,

You are wasting time brooding about non-issue

You are focusing on the past that cannot be changed

You are succumbing to the past that you ought to control

You are making another big mistake!!!

I now I trust but with sense

Now I make friends but with caution

Now I speak without fear or favour

Now I know keeping silent has it’s blessing

Now I know that there will always be adventure

There will always be new things to explore

Now I know that I need to move on error or no error

Blunder or blunder, mistake or no mistake

Now I know that no one is in infallible

But, I keep this in mind in all I do:

Is it the truth?

Is it fair to all concern?

Will God approve?

Is your conscience in line with your act?

Yes, I think before I act!!!

Here and there

Here: For the rich, the famous and the influential:
I read in a magazine just recently of different weddings of the rich, the famous and the influential in Nigeria. Pastor Okotie and wife, Quincy’s daughter, Governor of (which state now) daughter and last and the one that I will talk briefly about here is Halimat Dangote!!!

Picture taking from Bella Naija's blog

I read that the wedding was elaborate and a lot of dignitaries attended. Well, what do you expect of a daughter of a business mogul? A man that owns so many conglomerates in Nigeria. He surprised the daughter by given her an open cheque to shop for her wedding. I read that she went to France, Dubai, London and where else to buy her wedding gowns, shoes, etc. It was reported that she spent about N50, 000,000 (50 Million Naira) on her shopping.

Waoh, I cannot pretend that is not a lot of money. I looked again to be sure I saw the right figure and thought to myself that the press might have exaggerated but Dangote is rich and they might get the figure right. It feels good to be able to afford the good things of life. At a moment I was like why didn’t I have the same opportunity? Why couldn’t my parents be rich? Then the answer came to me: Though I am not physically rich but I have all it takes within me to be rich.

Though not in her shoe but I feel such money could have been put to a better use. Perhaps no other better use can come to mind since she was born into money and all. The material and cash gifts received at her wedding are enough to even feed her new family forever.

There: for the “mis-purpose”, the mis-led, and the “mis-followed”:
I read somewhere too that the Director- General of Nigerian Stock Exchange Ndidi Okereke-Onyiuke, was planning a dinner an event organized by her “Africa for Obama” group. The initial aim I heard was to raise money for Obama’s campaign. For what purpose I asked but could not get any answer. I wonder why they set out to do that knowing fully well that they did not meet any criteria stipulated by Obama funding raising initiative.

Anyway, they had the dinner and raised over 100million. The dinner cost some people N2.5 million for a platinum table. After raising the funds, I was not to wait forever before I saw another newspaper caption that “Obama disowned the group!!!” Then Ndidi announced in another newspaper that the money raised was not for Obama’s campaign but to “mobilize” support for Obama election.

I don’t know how to translate this nonsense. Why do we need to raise money in Nigeria to mobilize for Obama’s election? Are we sending delegate to be going from house to house in USA asking black American, Africans or Nigerians living there to please go out and vote for Obama? Is this a black thing? Aren’t we going to even put Obama at a disadvantage if we go all out screaming he is black, he is our own blah blah blah? Are we racists now? What benefit do we wish to drive from Obama being the president- free visa or what?

A controversial human rights lawyer Festus Keyamo has since petitioned the group via EFCC. I read this morning in the Nation Newspaper that Ndidi has being arrested by EFCC for questioning over the purpose fo the dinner and what they intend to use the money for. We so much like “O wambe” in Nigeria hence the dinner. I just wonder if our “O wambe” can’t be more purposeful like raising money for the orphans, the sick, and the disadvantaged. I have seen other groups for Obama in Nigeria such as Obama Initiative for Africa and some expensive sign post with "Vote for Obama" and his picture on it. I just don't understand our intentions any more “o wambe” means party.

And he married 86 wives.....

I will just copy and paste this story as it was told on BBC. I am lost for words here and I wonder how this could have happened.

Nigerian advises against 86 wives

By Andrew Walker BBC News, Bida, Nigeria

Mr Bello Abubakar says he does not go and find women, they come to him

Nigerian Mohammed Bello Abubakar, 84, has advised other men not to follow his example and marry 86 women.

The former teacher and Muslim preacher, who lives in Niger State with his wives and at least 170 children, says he is able to cope only with the help of God. "A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them," he told the BBC. He says his wives have sought him out because of his reputation as a healer. "I don't go looking for them, they come to me. I will consider the fact that God has asked me to do it and I will just marry them." But such claims have alienated the Islamic authorities in Nigeria, who have branded his family a cult.

"When you marry a man with 86 wives you know he knows how to look after them" Wife Ganiat Bello Abubakar

Most Muslim scholars agree that a man is allowed to have four wives, as long as he can treat them equally. But Mr Bello Abubakar says there is no punishment stated in the Koran for having more than four wives. "To my understanding the Koran does not place a limit and it is up to what your own power, your own endowment and ability allows," he says. "God did not say what the punishment should be for a man who has more than four wives, but he was specific about the punishment for fornication and adultery." 'Order from God'As Mr Bello Abubakar emerged from his compound to speak to the BBC, his wives and children broke out into a praise song.

Some of Mr Bello Abubakar's wives are younger than some of his children

Most of his wives are less than a quarter of his age - and many are younger than some of his own children. The wives the BBC spoke to say they met Mr Bello Abubakar when they went to him to seek help for various illnesses, which they say he cured. "As soon as I met him the headache was gone," says Sharifat Bello Abubakar, who was 25 at the time and Mr Bello Abubakar 74. "God told me it was time to be his wife. Praise be to God I am his wife now." Ganiat Mohammed Bello has been married to the man everyone calls "Baba" for 20 years. When she was in secondary school her mother took her for a consultation with Mr Bello Abubakar and he proposed afterwards. "I said I couldn't marry an older man, but he said it was directly an order from God," she says. She married another man but they divorced and she returned to Mr Bello Abubakar. "I am now the happiest woman on earth. When you marry a man with 86 wives you know he knows how to look after them," she said. No work Mr Bello Abubakar and his wives do not work and he has no visible means of supporting such a large family.

Many of the wives live three to a room, some have seven children

He refuses to say how he makes enough money to pay for the huge cost of feeding and clothing so many people. Every mealtime they cook three 12kg bags of rice which all adds up to $915 (£457) every day. "It's all from God," he says. Other residents of Bida, the village where he lives in the northern Nigerian state, say they do not know how he supports the family. According to one of his wives, Mr Bello Abubakar sometimes asks his children to go and beg for 200 naira ($1.69, £0.87), which if they all did so would bring in about $290 (£149). Most of his wives live in a squalid, unfinished house in Bida; others live in his house in Lagos, Nigeria's commercial capital. He refuses to allow any of his family or other devotees to take medicine and says he does not believe that malaria exists.

"They were sick and we told God and God said their time has come" Wife Hafsat Bello Abubakar

"As you sit here if you have any illness I can see it and just remove it," he says.

But not everyone can be cured and one of his wives, Hafsat Bello Mohammed, says two of her children have died."They were sick and we told God and God said their time has come." She says that most of the wives see Mr Bello Abubakar as next in line from the Prophet Muhammad. Indeed, he claims the Prophet Muhammad speaks to him personally and gives detailed descriptions of his experiences. It is a serious claim for a Muslim to make. "This is heresy, he is a heretic," says Ustaz Abubakar Siddique, an imam of Abuja's Central Mosque.

Appreciating a kind heart

I am appreciating Grahamn Kracker right now. I am really overwhelmed by his kindness!!! For the love of cats, I was the first to discover his blog a few Months ago.

Kittiy says "thank you GK"

GK came about loving cats by accident when a cat adopted him. He knows about my plight regarding my “house of cats” and the need to neuter my female cats.

I have previously mentioned that I could not afford to neuter the female cats so he advised me to open a paypal account to get the needed money through donations as he had heard about a woman that did same for her cats. I told him my findings about paypal restriction about Nigerians using their services. He took it upon himself to open one for me. He did and put the "donate button" up on his blog and right now a very generous blogger donated the full amount of $250 to neuter my cats!!!

Faithful STANDTALLERS, won't you please take a moment and pray that God in His infinite mercy will continue to bless GK and the donor? Please stop by his blog too. Even if you don’t like cats, you would love the stories he told….

I am overwhelmingly grateful GK!!!

So is Gandof the kitta below.....

The tops, the names and the adventurer

I am really amazed at the kind of inscriptions I see lately on people’s tops or T-shirts. I wonder what the maker was thinking and even more so what the people that buy or wear some of these outfits were thinking. Take for instance, a very young girl in my church had come in one faithful Sunday wearing a top with this inscription on it “if you think I am a bitch, wait till you meet my mother”. I was shocked!!! I went to her and asked her if she understood what that writing was and how she got the top. She told me her mother got it for her!!! We are both ushers in the same church, I mean the mother of the girl and I. I went to her and asked her how she could ever allow her daughter to wear something like that. She did not have much to say. I pleaded with her not to let her wear this top again. What a message to carry about.

I saw another one at my bank. I had gone to withdraw some money using my ATM card; there were others before me, so I had to wait my turn. There came this fine looking lady. I looked at the inscription on her top “He is my boyfriend, BITCH”. What is this world turning into?

Or was it the one with the “F” word spelt somewhat wrongly which is deliberate anyway. “FCUK you”. Ah, and someone wore this!! I have seen so much more and I wonder if the makers are deranged, weird and thought there will always be some like them that will buy their products. Yes, they have their customers.

Just for laughs, I was on my way to work one day, coming toward me was a lady in a customized T-shirt of a company selling JUICE. The writing on the T-Shirt was right on her chest and it read “Natural Fruit- best quality”. Hmmm the breast or the juice?. Not funny!!!

Have you noticed the trend in Naija-ish names on blogville? Like we have

1. Naijababe
2. Naijalines
3. Naijaleta
4. Naijagurl
5. Naijaidol
6. Naijaqueen
7. Naijamother
8. Nigeriandramaqueen

These names succefully wear our enblem, our logo and our own very Nigeria………… proudly Nigerian, I dare say!!!

I think I should mention it to you that there is a systa on a trip by road across Africa. She blogs about her experience as she moves on daily. Check it out…

Deleting Error

I am really pissed at myself right now. I just noticed that I posted (or blogger posted it for me) "In the begining" twice and in my attempt to delete the one with less comments as those comments actually appeared in the second one with 28 comments, I deleted the one with 28 comments!!! I am really so sorry if your comment is affected. I have beeing trying to see how I could retrieve it to no avail.

I am mad at me right now.................

30mins later:
Ah, I just discovered that all the comments are actually gone!!! What?!!! Pls if you subscribe to "email follow-up comments to my box", you may want to forward it to me please. Forward it to tadonline@hotmail.com. THANKS A BUNCH!!!

10 minutes later:
I have got all the comments!!! I am a genius. Let me see how I can put them all back. Thank you, thank you

Some 2 hours later:
I decided to kuku publish the comments here

Some 20 minutes later:
I am keeping the comments in my archive beccause they are toooooooooooo long!!!

1 hour 13 minutes later:
It seems I got it back up!!! Hurray or am I confused?

In the Beginning.....

I do not intend to provoke anyone with what I am about to write but if you are going to take this personally or too religiously, please just pass do not read!!!!

In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. They "begat” Cain and Abel. And we were made to know that Abel was killed by his jealous Brother Cain. Cain was latter cast out from his people and he settled down and married. Now the question is where did the woman he cleaved to come from? Was she Adam and Eve's daughter? I don't think so since we were explicitly told that they had only Cain and Abel at the time

I tried to read further to see if I have missed out something in GENESIS. But I was sure I read it well. Eve and Adam "begat" another son after they sent Cain away and after Abel was killed. Their next son was Seth and he married too and "begat" Enoch who married too and bore sons and daughters.

Bearing sons and daughters started from Seth as I understood from my reading... Cain on the other hand "begat" sons who married and "begat" others sons who married too. Where did they get all their wives? Is something missing in Genesis?

Another thing that comes to mind is what colour of skin were Eve and Adam? How where they able to breed white, black, brown, off-white children that now from Africa, Asia, Europe, and America?

I am just wondering, I am really really not sure if I am convinced about the completeness of this story from the beginning...

Can we then say there were other beings living by the time God created Adam and Eve? Where are all the women they married come from? If they are then claimed to be Adam and Eve's offspring, can we then conclude that INCEST is practiced from the beginning of time?

House of CATS

                                                           Picture from aboutcat.com

My house is currently a house of cats. I now have a total number of 11 cats. How did this happen? I am a cat lover and when I adopted 3 kittens instead of 1 kitten a year ago I had every intention of not letting them mate because I had got a male cat and 2 female cats. I was even told by a mythical-person that cats of the same blood don’t mate!!! As if they have same moral codes like human beings do.

My cats namely: Scofield (Male), Garfield (Female: her behaviour at the initial stage won her that name) and “my Very” Molly (female) came into my life and I was happy to care for them. I was looking for a vet to neuter them when they were about six months and ready to mate. I could not find one!!! I searched through the internet for Lagos based vets but I could not see any. I started asking around. I was “unfortunate” to meet a quirk vet that assured me there was no need to neuter my cats as there are always demands for kittens by his clients. Where is he now that I have so many kittens? He told me he would let me know when he sees anyone interested in adopting or getting a kitten!!!
I wondered why he did not confess to not knowing how to carry out the operation.

I eventually found two vets that claimed they needed to bring in experts to neuter my cats and it would cost me a fortune. Since I did not have that money to spare, I had to let it pass. Though, one of the vets assured me of clients looking for cats too.

Garfield got pregnant and delivered 4 beautiful kittens on the 27^th of June. She was really ready for her role as she protected all her kittens with so much attention. Scofield played a fatherly role of always taking up a corner next to the kittens to crouch and lick them. I would chase him any time I noticed he was going to try and mate with Garfield. Not again!!! A month later, Garfield still tries to protect her ever-ready to explore kittens. In fact I can’t wait for them to find good homes because they are eating too much food.

The arrival of Garfield’s kittens made our feline kids to increase to 7!!! Then we noticed Molly’s protruding belly. And did she ever show Garfield any love and attention when she delivered? No way!!! She would snarl at her and her kittens. In fact she would not spare Scofield too as that one was always ready to mate with her again. Scofield has so much injury on his face now. No thanks to Molly.

Where was I? Okay, I discovered a vet surgeon that was ready to neuter Socfield at an affordable rate. I was happy and eager to get him fixed and now he is. He is still trying to heal. Here came Molly’s Kitten on the July 31^st. She had 4!!! Now we are have 8 kittens and 3 adults’ cats bringing the total 11!!!

Let me briefly talk about Molly manner of delivery as was witnessed by my hubby. My husband and Molly do not get along very well. I called her “my very” Molly because she is Mama’s pet. She would follow me to the toilet, bathroom (she would run out cos of water), kitchen, anywhere. She is always crouching next to me on lying peacefully next to me anywhere I sit except the bedroom because of the presence of my husband and the kittens. She would instead wait for me by the bedroom door. Hubby and Molly fight a lot because if you don’t understand her, you can easily conclude that she is a “wicked” cat. She reacts to everything, she takes everything personal. She is too sensitive. Hubby calls her a “WITCH”. I don’t like his choice of word so we always clash briefly on this

Unlike Garfield that went quietly inside the wardrobe to deliver her kittens after she made the normal (they are coming) noise, Molly was everywhere. She refused to stay put in a place to deliver the kittens. She delivered them by moving restlessly about the room, dropping them off in different places. She refused to eat the placenta of the kittens which Garfield had to eat for her. She wanted a touch and Garfield was eager and ready to placate her. She refused to give Garfield same treatment she now demanded when Garfield had her kittens.She refused to breastfeed them and left Garfield to the job.

When I got home, I immediately moved in to comfort her and make her calm down. I only saw 3 kittens with her and I later discovered the last one under the bed. She kept moving them about. Thank God she is breast feeding them now but she bites the older kittens and hers in such a painful way that made them cry out. I feel like spanking her. To top everything, Garfield is now kidnapping one of Molly’s kittens. Molly has two white kittens while Garfield has one. Could it be a case of mistaken identity? She freely carries and hides the poor kitten. To my surprise, Molly would just look on. And you dare not try this with Garfield when are kittens were younger. I guess I have got to go online and read more about this syndrome or factor.

I am now with one major headache finding good homes for my adorable kittens. It will break my heart to end up putting them to sleep as I don’t know of what use is giving them up to herbal makers for ritual or something.

Sofield’s role has now doubled and he is equally sad that he can’t “commit” anymore. Right now I am in a journey to find good homes for my cute, adorable, appealing, irresistible kittens. Is there anyone interested in getting a kitten?